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Commercialism is NOT the “Reason for the Season”.

This week marks the first week of Holiday Shopping! It opened with Black Friday and Cyber Monday. People have come to plan for these days and companies have come to exploit or extend these days. There is a craze or frenzy that surrounds these days of shopping. Yet, we hear people talk about the behavior of the people who go into these sale days with great intensity and, at times, aggression to find the items they wish to purchase at the great prices advertised!! It seems that most people agree that this “beginning of the season” does not match the “meaning of the season”.


So, why do you succumb to the seduction of the commercializing of the season?
You may find yourself “buying” into the need to purchase gifts (and many of them) because of a need to be seen as good enough, because it is expected by the other or by society, or because of the fear of judgment or disappointment if you do not. If you begin to understand your reactionary buying in response to the seductive advertisements and promises then you will begin to open and, consequently, see more intimate and creative gifts of love and acceptance. Our intrinsic focus allows for an intimate gift rather than an extrinsic focus that allows for a number of gifts.



Thanksgiving and Gratitude

Are you grateful? Do you acknowledge that for which you are grateful on a daily basis? Will you verbalize your gratitude on this Thanksgiving?


Too often on this holiday, people eat, drink and gather but forget the essence of this day. It is a day of gratitude for sure! Yet, it is a day set aside to feel the gratitude of the essence of this country: unity, harmony, and acceptance! To feel the gratitude for the freedom that this country offers you! For me, it is also a time to acknowledge my gratitude for the American Indians because this day is a day that marks their loss of freedom and peace as they knew it prior to the white man’s arrival. And yet, it is a day to be grateful for all they give for they are an integral part of what makes us


On this day of gratitude for our freedom can we each find a place in our hearts, prayers, and thoughts to also thank the American Indians for their sacrifice and for their teachings!! This day marks their gift of this land and the teachings of the symbols that abound on all of earth and speak to each of us of our lives. They teach us of wisdom or knowingness beyond the knowledge and the ego’s need to know. They offer us the opportunity to observe what it is like to be humble and to honor the animal who is to sacrifice its life for us to live. They offer us the opportunity to know the plants that feed us and heal us. They give us the opportunity to learn to honor our elders and their wisdom. And more than anything, they offer us the opportunity to know that we can all live in community, in harmony, in unity without warfare and prejudice. For it was the white man who brought with them the notion of warfare among each other and judgment that gave the right to that warfare.


I am grateful for my life and that we all are immigrants to the land that was once a peaceful land of Indians. I am grateful to be an American. I am grateful that our forefathers built this dream on high spiritual principles of unity, harmony, equality and freedom. I am grateful that our warriors are fighting for these principles. I will be more grateful to see peace and freedom abound on this earth. I will honor all of those whose lives have been destroyed by unnecessary warfare and or religious judgment. I am grateful to be a person who leads with love and acceptance.


I wish you all a very love-filled day of thanks and acceptance for all that is and for all who are. It is in the absence of judgment that we will be able to feel the freedom we have been offered!


Happy Thanksgiving to you all and your families!!


With warmth and gratitude,

Love, Does it complete us?

Love! Does it complete us? Or, are we complete in and of our self?


This weekend is Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s Day to you all. Last year I asked you what Valentine’s Day meant/means to you. To me, this day is a day to honor love in our lives, all love in our lives. The greatest love is of spirit or god. The next greatest love is of self. Without love of self how do we know love?


Love is an experience. Love is a plethora of experiences. In this American language we use one word for all of those experiences. Consequently, it’s confusing to many. It’s confusing because we don’t know the love of our Self. As we introduce ourselves to our Selves we begin to fall in love with who we are. It is that love that allows us to feel complete within our Selves. As we evolve into a state of enlightenment, mastery, or unconditional freedom, we begin to feel a longing for a partnership. It’s a partnership different from what we thought it was when we first started in this lifetime. It is different because we felt a completeness within our Self that expanded to a desire to unite with a greater completeness.


Let me give an example using a portion of what occurs within Self. We begin with an imbalance of energy. Women tend to have greater female energy and men tend to have greater male energy. Then we realize that the combination of the male energy and the female energy that can exists in such perfect balance within us is something we want to achieve. Once achieved, we want to experience that with another. For those who are gay, they have been blessed with the balance of the male and female energy that they then have to learn to express comfortably in a society where that may not be the case. The longing for a partnership for a gay or lesbian person is very different than the longing for a partnership in someone who is not gay. There is no longer a gender difference defining the balance of the energies. The energies are internally experienced and defined even though not completely balanced.


If ultimately we are here to find great balance through unconditional love and acceptance, then love of our self becomes quite important. It is in the development of love of your Self that you begin to feel complete in who you are! It is then that you begin to feel the longing for the unity with the complement of an Other’s energy. It is an experience. Your partner is the Yin to your Yang or the Yang to your Yin. As love of Self grows so does love of Other. It is infinite in its growth and possibilities. It is at that point, that we can experience true unity and harmony with One. It is worth celebrating daily!! It is definitely worth honoring with a special day annually.


So, on this Valentine’s Day, each of you has a choice you can make. If there a partner in your life, you can choose to honor and cherish the love you share at this time or rebel against some external definition of this day and not celebrate? If there is not a partner in your life, would you like to honor and cherish a love that is growing inside yourself for your Self or would you like to not do that and feel the pain and suffering of longing for a partner. You can celebrate the love you have for your Self or get lost in the suffering of the loneliness, of the longing, of the doubt. Which would you prefer at this time of celebration of love, a day or weekend filled with love or a day or weekend filled with the suffering of loss or rebelliousness/anger?


I challenge all of you to really look at love in your lives on this weekend. How do you express it to your Self and others? How do you feel it in your Self and from others? While Valentine’s Day may be a “made-up” holiday, it is still a holiday that brings us back to our relationship with Self and Other in the name of love. May each of you find love that unites you with your Self, with your partner and family, and with all of those around you! May you feel the unity with all and with Spirit/God!


I wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day! May you all enjoy the love of Love!


New Year of 2015

It is the end of 2014 and the beginning of 2015. I truly wish you all a year of abundance and balance. That means you all must be able to make your dreams come true!! Last year I wrote about New Years’ Resolutions and gave some suggestions for making the goal a reality. This year I am going to talk about how things must end in order for new things to be created. Before you read on, take a few minutes and make a list (even if abbreviated) of your New Years’ Resolutions.


Let me begin. In order for this minute to exist the previous minute must end. In life, we tend to hold onto things, feelings, perceptions, ideals that no longer allow us to prosper. These attachments serve you in some way and it is important to know how. It is the attachment, or holding on, to “stuff” that does not allow the new goal/wish to begin or to withstand time.


We must let go of 2014 to invite in 2015. We must say goodbye. We all had challenges and achievements. All of them were gifts. We must say goodbye to what was so we can build the dream of what is. We must say goodbye so that the gifts of all of those past experiences can open new doors. We cannot say goodbye if we are attached to the “stuff”. What stops you from letting go?


This year has an overall meaning of abundance and balance but also includes goals, prosperity, self confidence and more. That means that the opposite can also become prominent if you have challenges in those areas. As examples, you must let go of your hidden beliefs of lack in order to step into the flow of abundance; you must let go of your hidden beliefs of not receiving in order to become lean in an area of life; you must let go of fears in order to have balance.


Now ask your Self what you must be willing to release in order to create each of your new goals/wishes. I invite you to think about and understand the letting-go portion of manifesting your goals so that you can begin your journey toward your dreams. Take your time. List every thought, expectation, learning, judgment, etc. that needs to be released, that needs to end, in order for the new resolution to begin. We cannot live in the present if we are anchored in the past. We cannot create a new beginning if we are holding onto what was.


This New Year is a grand opportunity for each of you. Embrace it. Face it. Create it. Do not allow your Self to be seduced into experiences you do not wish to have. Take charge of your dreams. Know your Self and what you wish to experience. Believe in the goals you write. Then begin by saying goodbye to all of that which you learned to hold onto because others’ needed you to agree with them. You are now poised for a magical new year of great beginnings in your life.


I wish you all a great New Year. One in which all of your dreams become clear and begin to manifest as your reality. Life is grand, it is freedom. I hope you all feel its embrace in this new year.


Holiday Gifts

Hanukah, Winter Solstice, New Moon, and Christmas, what do they all have in common?  Birth (re-birth), Creation, New Beginning, Living, Magik of Life.  We give gifts at this time of year, why? To adorn, honor, commit, express love and gratitude, and create. What is the greatest gift of all? YOU! Because without you, there would be no life with you, for you, or of you.


Gifts. For Hanukah, it is the gift of the temple returned and the magik of the lights. For Winter Solstice it is the end of the darkest day and the gift of the entry of greater light into our days. New Moon is the darkest of nights opening to the gift of light entering. Christmas is the gift of the light of Christ and his teachings.


Light.  It is of the truth.  It illuminates our life.  It is in absence of the dark, the illusions, the suffering.  Light. Its energy warms us and nurtures us.  It gives us life. Each of us is of light.


You are a gift. Each of us has our own dreams.  Each of us desire love, acceptance, and joy.  Tis the season of light. You can choose to be a gift of light.  Illuminate the truth in those around you by showing compassion and acceptance.  Express your love of family, friends, and neighbors. In these ways you are giving your Selves as a gift … a Gift of Light.


I wish you all a very Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas, and Wonderful Winter Solstice with the New Moon.  I wish you all the gift of enjoying the company you keep, the gift of creating your dreams in this life and the gift of willingness to step into a new beginning while trusting in the unknown outcome.  I thank you for the diversity of your beliefs and lives.  That alone is a great gift in my life.


With love, warmth, and compassion

Thanksgiving Wish


Thank you!


I want to personally thank you for your support! I am so grateful to be stepping into the next phase of my dream. This Thanksgiving is about the gratitude that I feel for each and every person who has supported me. I am so grateful to be grateful.


I will be celebrating my gratitude for MANY things, events, and people in my life. A few I would like to share are:

  • I am grateful I live in joy.
  • I am grateful for all that I am!
  • I am grateful to be an American.
  • I am grateful for the freedom of this life and for the diversity of all!
  • I am grateful for peace and love and unity.
  • I am grateful for Mother Earth and all she gifts us.

I could go on. This is why it is my favorite holiday.


I thank you all for all that you are and for all of your support. I hope this Thanksgiving gives you an opportunity to reflect on all for which you have to be grateful!!




Giving Thanks at Thanksgiving


We are one week away from Thanksgiving. I am being asked about managing the holidays without stress. Each time I get the question, I ask what the person means by holiday stress?! Inevitably they are referring to the demands of gifts, money, and events. Thanksgiving is not about all of that. It is about being grateful for what you have received. It is about sharing the freedom of this country and the life it affords us. It is about family, neighbors, friends, diversity.


What do we do to prepare for Thanksgiving? Do we put as much into this holiday as we do the next few? Probably not. Yet, what could be more important than the gratitude we feel and the thanks we give for all we receive? What could keep unity stronger than each of us expressing sincere gratitude and thanks for each other as Americans, past and present? The impact of an entire country honoring its freedom and founding principles with great thanks and sincere gratitude is profound. Yet, we do not put as much energy into this celebration. Is part of it because we do not “have to” buy the gifts?


What if preparing for Thanksgiving was about going inward and putting together a Thanksgiving List consisting of that for which you are grateful? It’s free!! It’s giving! It’s receiving! We are gifting and receiving only from within. No money. The value of YOU and the value of LIFE and the value of FREEDOM, UNITY, and EQUALITY are the gifts. They are more valuable than all of the store-bought gifts in the world. We forget how priceless those gifts truly are.


Starting NOW, while reading this, create a list over the next week and prepare yourself for an exchange of the gifts of gratitude and thanks. Include those with whom you will be celebrating Thanksgiving by asking them to bring a list of that for which they are grateful and want to offer thanks. Then declare a spot in your house, e.g., refrigerator cork board, or empty wall space, for everyone to post their lists.


At the dinner table, while sharing a traditional meal, meant to reflect the original meal, ask everyone to share their top 2 or 3 gifts for which they are grateful. The table will come to life with unity and open sharing as each person opens themselves to the truth of their gifts.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I am grateful for each of you who reads my blog and supports my dream. I am grateful for the opportunity to watch my dream unfold. I thank all of my friends, family, clients, neighbors, and pets for who you each are! You fill my life with joy and magik!

Stress Management During the Holidays

The most common questions I get asked during the holidays are “How do you stay so calm and relaxed? Don’t you feel the stress?” It is usually followed by the question, “How do I cope with the stress of the holidays?” There is no real secret. I live by knowing what I wish to experience in most of my life. It is in that knowing that I stay within my comfort and calm. Let me lead with an example: I do not enjoy shopping but I do enjoy buying gifts! So, I sit quietly with a glass of wine or hot tea and relax on my dock and create a list. It is never a complete exhaustive list but it is always inclusive of the key people in my life. Then I thoroughly enjoy thinking of a special gift. Once I have comfortable come to a completion of developing the list, I stop. I may stop before I have a gift listed for everyone and for me that is ok! I know for whom I am still thinking about gifts. I keep my eyes open throughout the days until something goes “Yea! That’s it!” I then add that idea to the list. I enjoy this process!! It’s fun for me!! I may also add people to my list as I go forward.


I remember when I was married. My husband was a Grinch when it came to shopping for the holidays until one day I said, “Follow me. We are going to go to Capital Grill in the mall and have a drink and strategize this event. It will be fun, I promise.” He agreed!! We sat and had some hors d’oeuvres at the bar and created a list of everyone for whom we had to buy. We then added the gift or store from which we wanted to purchase. We then ordered the shops by virtue of where they were in the mall. I made a reservation for dinner at Capital Grill for 1.5 hours later. The challenge was to get all the shopping done and get back to the restaurant before the reservation! He thought I was crazy until we had a ball together! We did the same routine every year and every year we enjoyed the experience together!


So, I was asked to speak to a business group regarding Stress and the Holidays so I handed out cards with 3 questions what are the top 3 stressors for you during the holidays, what are your coping mechanisms for stress, and what is your number one question regarding stress. The answers are the basis to this blog article. I hope this is helpful to you all!! Happy Holidays!



  • Gift Shopping
  • Matching gift to recipient
  • Budget for gifts and events; Not enough money
  • Traffic on Main Avenues
  • Lines
  • Crowds
  • Time restrictions
  • Juggling numerous activities simultaneously
  • Events and Conflicting events
  • Guests
  • Family
  • Travel
  • Immediate demands
  • Too much to do
  • Being around stressed people
  • Guilt around gifts and the need for reciprocity
  • End-of-year work

As you read this list you can see there are numerous “things” that influence stress in peoples’ lives. As I mentioned in the talk, stress only occurs where there are expectations. So, let’s look at the stressors and see the patterns of expectations that weave through them.


The shopping for and matching and buying of gifts are often stressors due to the buyer’s need to meet the expectations of the recipient so that they are pleased. You forget that YOU are the greatest gift! What kinds of gifts can you give that are simply of you. The need to spend on gifts suggests that the gift of YOU is not valued the same. The shopping and time can of course feel like a part of the too much to do! Again, you are feeling stress from the expectations of getting “it” all done. What would you like to do? Guilt that may be felt around having to buy gifts for those who bought you gifts is pure expectation and fear of judgment! It is okay to simply receive!!! In order for giving to be complete you simply have to receive. You obviously give of YOURSELF in some way to the person who bought you a gift. Allow your Self to be the gift they received! Thanks and gratitude are generally ALL the giver needs to feel complete. If a charity felt they had to give a gift to everyone who gifted them where would they be? It is not necessary to give a gift to everyone who gives a gift to you!


The traffic, crowds, travel, and lines can all have a crossover with the juggling numerous activities at once and time restrictions. You are only restricted by time when you are doing more than you are wishing to do or are able to do. You are only doing too much because you think you “should” (expectations). What are you able to do and what would you wish to do to prepare for a holiday celebration? What kind of holiday celebration would you like to experience? Allow your Self to define the holidays as you would like to experience them. Given that experience and your preferences, accept your money and work schedule. Another aspect of these stressors is to find a way to enjoy the crowds and lines. Make it a personal challenge to spread smiles! Leave yourself enough time to accept the lines and crowds. Or shop in a way that does not require you to deal with traffic, crowds, and lines. Once you have put these small tasks into motion, see how you can begin to build a more relaxed enjoyable holiday experience. A final note about being around others: being around stressed people can increase your stress. Stress or anxiety is contagious. You can feel it from others. Again this is why it is critical to know the experience YOU wish to have. Others’ experiences, then, are less likely to be of influence.


The events that occur during the holidays are intended to be for celebration and gratitude for the relationships shared. Yet, for many, the events become expectations and then when they are in conflict with other events or there are just too many, people can feel stress from not being able to go to all events “as expected”. This is counter to the intent of most events. There is always someone somewhere who is going to have to say no. Why can’t that be you? It is inside you that YOU come up with the reasons why you cannot say no. Yet, when you are struggling to NOT say no, ask yourself if you would say no in a situation where there was a necessity (illness, travel, etc.). If you would, then you can say no simply because it is necessary for YOU to say no! Learn to listen to your Self. Honor your Self first and then honor the invitations! Learn to stop responding to the expectations of others. If you are struggling with the abiity to say “No” then more than likely you are feeling the pressure of too much to do!


Then there are the guests and family that we have to entertain or by whom be entertained! I think if you were to sit quietly in your thoughts, you would be able to define the expectations of these others and see how you are trying to meet the demands and expectations of the many instead of staying within your own experience and self. If you cannot get to every family member’s homes then you cannot. If they cannot all get to yours, then they cannot. And what about the way family sees family? The dynamics of family can be conflictual because of perceptions. Growing up together everyone has very different views of themselves and each other.



  • Disconnecting
  • Reading
  • Relaxing
  • Massage
  • Vacation
  • Meditation
  • Breathing Deeply
  • Art
  • Napping, Sleeping
  • Reading religious text
  • Exercising
  • Walking; walks on beach
  • Movies
  • Time with friends
  • Smiling
  • Have fun
  • Yoga
  • Doing
  • Alcohol
  • Overeating

All of the coping strategies up until number 18 are valid. If you are not using them, you may want to explore the use of several of them. Anyhting you may do in a ceremonial or ritualistic way can be healing and releasing of stress.


I want to address the use of “doing” in reaction to stress separately. The act of “doing” so that you can avoid the stress, keeps the stress and it’s destructive impact alive in the background. Think about it, to avoid something you must know where it is in order to stay away from it. Consequently, if you are staying active in order to avoid stress you must know what and where the stress is to keep it at bay. If, however, you are “doing” in order to keep moving through a “to do” list, then you are coping!! Mostly because putting something off, or procrastinating, can increase the stress as you get anticipate it coming due. How are you using activity or “doing”? If it is in the former way, you may want to stop and relax, meditate, journal, or breathe!! If it is the former, good for you!!


Let’s look at alcohol, drugs, and food. They are all stressors in our lives unless used in moderation and without connection to emotion. Once any of these are connected to our emotions, in particular, avoiding or masking them, they become significant stressors and can become habitual and, consequently, destructive. When I talk of drugs, I include prescriptions. During the holidays it becomes particularly easy to use substances to avoid the emotional and physical stress. Unfortunately, however, we are a people of dependent style. We tend to be externally focused. These characteristics lend to the use of substance to calm us, heal us, and take care of us. The truth is, it doesn’t work. Substance, whether, alcohol, drugs, or food, do not calm, heal, or take care of us at a time of stress, anxiety, or fear. When we use them to do so, we are further increasing the physical stressors and, at times, the chemical and emotional stressors which is further destroying ourselves. If you find yourself using any of the three during stressful times, do not judge yourself or label yourself. I would, however, recommend you speak to someone who can help you sort through the stress and the need for care. You need a person and your Self at those times not substance.



1. How to handle stress during visits
2. What is an effective way to remove stress
3. How to avoid it
4. How to avoid getting sick from stress

In order to cope with stress you must know your stressors and the expectations associated with them. Once you are aware of that you can begin the process of developing the experience you wish to have in various situations. Knowing the experience you wish to have in any situation in life allows you a great opening to see the expectations of others and how you were and are trying to meet them. Being able to live beyond expectations removes a HUGE percentage of stress. It allows you to begin to live in absence of stress. What I mean by that is we may have stress approach you but you are so aware of the experience you wish to have that you address and move beyond the stressor immediately. You are no longer avoiding or skirting the stressor but knowing what you wish to do allows you to eliminate it – gracefully.


I am very often asked why we would want to live without stress. Some think it motivates them, some think it protects them, and some think it is serves them in other ways. The truth is that stress does not need to exist – at all. Our lives have become so “demanding” that we have introduced stress into it and have then glamourized it. We have huge profitability in “Stress Management” programs. So, it is imperative that we have stress so that we can be taught how to manage it! To some of my Executive officers with whom I work, they say “At work stress is good because it is fun and part of the relationships!” Ugh! There is, ultimately, no need for stress. At the beginning, we made need some stress to keep us alert to danger, but only at the beginning. Once we are living in absence of fear, we have no use for stress or stressors.


Never do you want to avoid! Certainly you do not want to avoid stress because the very act of “trying” to avoid stress creates stress!! Aaah! Please do not try to avoid stress! Allow your Self to stay aware of what stresses you and then ask yourself what the expectations are that define it. Then you can ask how to move beyond those expectations if it isn’t already clear.


We get sick from stress because it weakens the immune system. If you eliminate or mitigate stress, obviously you eliminate illness from it. From the beginning, with the indigenous people around the world, it was known that “stress” (imbalance) causes illness and injury. In order to truly eliminate illness due to stress, you must eliminate stress. If, however, you are feeling stressed and don’t want to get sick, I recommend you use a Germ Bullet to ward off most illnesses that are able to attack you during a weakened immune response to stress. For more information on the Germ Bullet, please go to or call 561.393.0065.


The bottom line is this: in order to live without the impact of stress you must eliminate it. There are many ways to “manage” the stress you have and that is wonderful as the first step. Once you are managing your stress, you need to eliminate it. Or, for some of you who are achievement oriented, you can go directly to eliminating your stress!


I thank you all for the opportunity! May your days be free, fun, and without expectations!


What Does Valentine’s Day Mean To You?

Do you love Valentine’s Day or despise it? Either way, you are experiencing it. Is it a day that you look forward to, hide from, or rebel against? Regardless, you are still responding to it. And, in both questions, more often than not, “it” is defined by someone other than you! Consequently, it is important to define this holiday for your Self!


Everything in this life is inside YOU! Everything on the outside is stimulating you on the inside and, consequently, you are experiencing life in your own way. Valentine’s Day is no different. So, what is Valentine’s Day to you? Don’t answer with, “Nothing. It is important to my partner/spouse.” There is an inherent meaning in that very answer. Don’t tell us it is a “Made-up” holiday, because all holidays are “made up”. Answer the question as genuinely as you can.


As children, it was about showing love and like for everyone! We would bring candies and little cards for all the children, teachers, and some staff!! It was a very exciting day for each child because they all received Valentines from the others and could give Valentine’s to others. Then we grew up and it seems the definition changed. But how so?


Take the time to define what Valentine’s Day is to you. Then address the experience YOU would like to have on Valentine’s Day. Is Valentine’s Day only for couples? Or is it for the love of anyone in your life? If the latter, are you a Valentine to your Self? Share your thoughts. If you have someone who you wish to honor on Valentine’s Day, be sure you each understand the other’s desired experience. Let me give you an example of a woman who was understanding of the differences between her and the man she was dating. A friend had just started dating this man, and was looking forward to a romantic dinner at a restaurant. She later found out the man had no intention of celebrating Valentine’s Day. So, she booked a table at a favorite restaurant of theirs and invited him to dinner with her. So, rather than criticizing him for not meeting her expectations she created a good evening. They were able to talk about their different definitions of the holiday and what each of them had envisioned experiencing on that day. They both had a wonderful Valentine’s Day. They shared that holiday in years that followed.


If you do not have an other with whom you can celebrate this holiday, consider asking your Self to be your Valentine and enjoy a great day!


It is with my heart that I acknowledge each of you and the gift you give to me by reading and sharing my writings.




Creating Successful Resolutions: Could you be setting yourself up for failure?

Approximately 50% of the people will attempt to state resolutions and of those, 88% will not achieve success with their desired goals.Those statistics are very well known. There are numerous articles on why resolutions don’t work. So, why an article on how they do work? Because there are behavioral measures we can take to be successful in the short term and then there are ways to incur permanence. This article will address SUCCESSFUL RESOLUTIONS.


Most people set resolutions to reinvent their Self or to find greater “happiness” in their life. Yet, the top resolutions set are:

  • Weight Loss
  • Exercise
  • Smoking Cessation
  • Debt Resolution
  • Money Management

This list suggests that most Americans believe that these external goals will bring an internal experience of general happiness in life. So the ultimate goal is their happiness. They “think” these goals will bring them that. Consequently, there is a “why?” that you need to ask. If there are aspects of your life that you wish to change, then what was causing them in the first place? Why are these challenges existing in your life? There is something that keeps them active. It is this question, unanswered, that sits under the goals you set and slowly eats away at your success IF you only implement behavioral change. So, let’s address the behavioral measures you can take, some thinking you can change, and then let’s look at some other things you can “do” to ensure greater long-term success.




Quietly sit down and choose those resolutions that are important to you. Write down ALL of them. Then pick your top three. With each of those 3:

  • Define the goal with detail and specifics.
  • Break the goal into as many sub goals as is possible — teeny tiny ones — again, defining each sub goal with detail and specifics. Baby steps!!! The sub goals can then build upon one another to meet the main goal.
  • Look at the patterns, habits, rituals of your daily life and see where you can comfortably assimilate the sub goal.
  • Celebrate each success along the way. Know what it is you are going to do for the celebration. Don’t be shy. Include in your celebration a daily conscious compliment to your Self for completing the mini goal!
  • Be consistent and persistent! if you can work your tiny subgoals for a minimum of 14 to 21 days, it becomes a new habit. Then, as you add to it you are building upon your new lifestyle!!



Positive thinking is the only way to achieve success because success is a positive. You cannot achieve a positive with a negative.

  • Each morning before you get out of bed, recite a gratitude about yesterday’s success and today’s opportunity to succeed.
  • Each morning before you get out of bed, review your goals for the day. Picture the activity as it fits into your routines. See your Self successfully achieving each of the sub goals and hear your positive thoughts.
  • Each night upon retiring, review your successes and be grateful for each of them.
  • Each night upon retiring, create any necessary solutions for those goals you do not feel were successfully achieved.

Listen for thoughts or statements of hidden expectation:

  • “I should”
  • “I need to”
  • “I am suppose to”

Each of those phrases is speaking to you about how you have expectations tied to your resolution. Expectations are not from you — EVER! They are always from what you have learned from others. Those phrases, when thought or spoken, are telling you that this is an area of internal conflict. In other words, what you have scheduled your Self to do does not match your internal comforts. The expectations undermine your success by pulling you toward feelings of not good enough. This is a time you are desiring a reinvention of your Self in some way. You do not need other people’s expectations pulling you away from your desires!


Finally, listen within your Self for thoughts of hope. With hope there is doubt. “I hope I can … !” suggests you doubt you can. This is a very different hope than the spiritual hope. Listen to your thoughts for statements of hope and ask your Self what your doubts are! Once you identify the doubts you can heal them. Otherwise, they will undermine your success. Doubt is fear, fear undermines positive thinking!




It is the internal experience that the resolution gives you that is critical to your life. To develop that, you must know what it is you wish to experience. What are your desires that you believe your resolution will give you? What will it feel like within you once you achieve your resolution?


Once you have identified the experience your goal offers you, there are several things you can do to enhance your success of meeting your goals.

  • Create a “sign” with the goal and the sub goal you are currently pursuing. Make sure it is aesthetically pleasing. Make several copies of this. Place each copy in a location that you will see daily and frequently. Each time you see the “sign”, allow your Self to feel the experience the goal will give you.
  • Mantra — Repeat a sentence that says “I am grateful to have …” at least 20 times each of 5 times per day. The statement must be in present tense as if it is happening. As you are repeating the statement, you want to be feeling the experience the completed goal gives you.
  • Vision board — collect pictures, words, etc. that define the goal(s) you are achieving for the year and put them onto a board that you will see repeatedly through out the day.
  • Live the feeling as if you have already achieved your goal. Do this consciously. You can do it for an hour each day or for an entire day, You will know what you can do successfully.

In conclusion, you can be one of the 0.7% of people who are successful with their New years’ Resolutions if you can develop a plan of what you can do to incorporate the change, change your thinking, define the way the success of the resolution will be experienced, and then build upon living that experience until it is manifest. This process is easily doable but may require some further direction. Please contact my office for online seminars for successful resolutions and with any questions you may have.


I’m very proud to announce that this is the first of many articles which will be featured in Our Town News magazine.

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Kristen Bomas, PA
398 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 104
Boca Raton, Fl 33432


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