If you had no money how would you gift during the holidays? Would you know how to gift during the holidays?

Oftentimes people get caught up in buying the gifts: the expensive gifts, multiple gifts, or the perfect gift. No matter your style, are you caught up in buying the gift? When you buy the gift is it coming from you for them? Do you know the person for whom you are buying the gift well enough to know what would please them? Does your gift carry meaning for you? For example, does your gift have to be special so that you feel good enough when giving it.

We are bombarded by advertisements, marketing pitches, commercials, all telling us to buy buy buy. They even cater to the children so that the children will ask “Santa” to buy buy buy. Technology pushes for the latest and greatest so that we will buy buy buy. Is that what Christmas and the Holidays are about?

When we buy buy buy do we buy American? Do we buy from our immediate community? Do we support our neighbor? Or are we too worried about that perfect gift that we do not get creative enough to support those who support us? We have lost the idea of gift giving.

So, imagine you have no money. What would be your gift? It would be you. Do you know how you are the gift? Would you know what it is about you that you are gifting? Maybe it’s time,during this holiday season, to look within and know what it is that makes you such a magnificent gift!! Then, look across at the person to whom you are giving gifts and recognize in them that beautiful gift they are to you! Take the time to consciously recognize and appreciate the gift of the lives and people around you during this holiday season. If you live this holiday as if it is your entire life, you will know that the only gift that has meaning is the gift that is you.

Please share a story of a gift you have given or received that stands out to you!

I have met many people who feel anxiety, or feel their anxiety increase, as the holidays take hold. For some, it can be disabling. For many others it is in response to their relationships, stressors, and/or external expectations. Let’s look at several examples.

In conclusion, there are many events, experiences, or symbols that can trigger anxiety. During the holidays those triggers can be pronounced or multiplied thereby affecting more and more people. If you or someone you love experiences some anxiety, remind them to breathe and to focus on their breath going in and out. Sit with them as they breathe like that for 10 breaths. As they feel some relief, begin moving forward without a conscious focus on the anxiety but a focus on a solution to the holiday stressors instead.

For more information on anxiety in general, please see previous blog articles:
Anxiety: What is it, what causes it, what to do about it? Part 1
Anxiety: What is it, what causes it, what to do about it? Part 2
Anxiety: What is it, what causes it, what to do about it? Part 3

Holidays can be very difficult for those who are in recovery, those who know people who drink or party too much and see it increase at this time, and for those who are using and feel the need to use more during this time. How do we help those who we love? How do we help our Self? What are the signs of a situational experience versus an addictive pattern?

The holidays are a time for family and friends to gather. So, it is a time of celebration and parties. But, it is also a time to feel the absence of acceptance, the loneliness, the family patterns that send your emotions reeling, and so much more!

If someone you know is suffering from any of the emotional challenges and has a problem abusing substance, this time of year can be a fire ball. That person may feel a need to run to the most secure relationship in her or his life — the bottle or drug.

For many in recovery, this can also be a challenging time because of the myriad emotional, environmental, social, and physical triggers. It is a time for feeling the true camaraderie with fellow recovering persons. Yet, can also be a time when that person may feel the difference and, consequential, loneliness.

If you are someone who quietly feels you are drinking too much or using drugs too much, this may be a time of year that further frustrates you. Consequently, there will be an increase in the judgments you put upon yourself for not meeting expectations of quitting but, in fact, increasing your intake.

Let’s all see if we can help each other feel love and acceptance at this time. This is a great time to ease someone into treatment IF they need it. When i worked at in-patient hospitals for substance abuse/addiction, we had a full house during the holidays and after…. Think about it. No one wants to suffer. Today, let’s think about our friends, family or self and ask what we can do to help them into recovery and freedom from suffering.

For more on addiction and recovery, here are some of my past blog posts:

Part One – Healing Addiction
Part Two – Addiction and the Abuse Pattern
Part Three – The Emotional Roller Coaster of Addiction