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Healing Addiction

In response to: Why is Addiction Still Considered a Personal Weakness?


I have been successfully working with addicts for over 25 years. They certainly do NOT have a choice, nor is it a weakness. I will add that the same is true in ANY abusive/dependent relationship. An individual who finds their Self in an abusive relationship did not choose to be there nor is it weakness that keeps them there. It is fear. Abuse is abuse is abuse.


The pattern remains the same. It is a pattern that is introduced early in life either by the alcoholic, addict, or abuser. The pattern is not being addressed by this country. So, it is increasing exponentially rather than subsiding. The addict adds to that the influence of genetics! I have yet to meet an addict who said, “Yes, Kristen, I awakened to my dream to be an addict!!” Not even in the midst of a high do they say that. This is clearly an illness, biological AND social! While it may seem to many as antithetical, the healing of the addiction brings forth the most magikal people I have met in this lifetime. We all must be careful of our judgments. It does not allow us to see the person beyond the pain and suffering.


“We judge only in the way we are fearful of being judged.”



  1. Beautifully said and so on the mark

    Comment by Karen Meli —

  2. Thank you Karen 🙂

    Comment by admin —

  3. Kristen
    Can addiction be a type of self punishment for something the addicted person thinks they deserve this punishment for?

    Comment by Dennis Hursman —

  4. Dennis:

    No, BUT the self punishment IS a part of the addiction. In other words, the addiction comes from a pattern that creates intense shame and “nonbelonging”. Those emotions can lead to a feeling of self disgust as the addict “buys into” what was put upon him/her in childhood or life. Either way, they are buying into the early perception that they are “bad” and deserve punishment for causing the mayhem. The cycle of addiction then reignites that feeling of needing to be punished.

    Then there is another piece! All a person’s life, the person wanted to master the punishment he or she was enduring. Yet, no matter how hard that person tried, he or she couldn’t be good enough to avoid the punishment. So, what happens in the addiction is that person then finds themselves feeling the guilt or shame of the addiction or behaviors in the addiction and feels the need to punish. Then he or she wants to be good enough not to endure the punishment but finds the addiction is stronger than the will to be “good” and the addict uses and, so, the cycle begins again. He or she cannot master the punishment because he or she has not transcended the old beliefs that he or she deserves to be punished!

    I hope that helps. At least, you can see that it is more involved than it appears on the surface. :-/

    Thank you for your comment and your interest,

    Comment by Kristen Bomas —

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Kristen Bomas, PA
398 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 104
Boca Raton, Fl 33432


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