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Creating Successful Resolutions: Could you be setting yourself up for failure?

January 8, 2014

Approximately 50% of the people will attempt to state resolutions and of those, 88% will not achieve success with their desired goals.Those statistics are very well known. There are numerous articles on why resolutions don’t work. So, why an article on how they do work? Because there are behavioral measures we can take to be successful in the short term and then there are ways to incur permanence. This article will address SUCCESSFUL RESOLUTIONS.

 

Most people set resolutions to reinvent their Self or to find greater “happiness” in their life. Yet, the top resolutions set are:

 
  • Weight Loss
  • Exercise
  • Smoking Cessation
  • Debt Resolution
  • Money Management
 

This list suggests that most Americans believe that these external goals will bring an internal experience of general happiness in life. So the ultimate goal is their happiness. They “think” these goals will bring them that. Consequently, there is a “why?” that you need to ask. If there are aspects of your life that you wish to change, then what was causing them in the first place? Why are these challenges existing in your life? There is something that keeps them active. It is this question, unanswered, that sits under the goals you set and slowly eats away at your success IF you only implement behavioral change. So, let’s address the behavioral measures you can take, some thinking you can change, and then let’s look at some other things you can “do” to ensure greater long-term success.

 

WHAT TO DO

 

Quietly sit down and choose those resolutions that are important to you. Write down ALL of them. Then pick your top three. With each of those 3:

 
  • Define the goal with detail and specifics.
  • Break the goal into as many sub goals as is possible — teeny tiny ones — again, defining each sub goal with detail and specifics. Baby steps!!! The sub goals can then build upon one another to meet the main goal.
  • Look at the patterns, habits, rituals of your daily life and see where you can comfortably assimilate the sub goal.
  • Celebrate each success along the way. Know what it is you are going to do for the celebration. Don’t be shy. Include in your celebration a daily conscious compliment to your Self for completing the mini goal!
  • Be consistent and persistent! if you can work your tiny subgoals for a minimum of 14 to 21 days, it becomes a new habit. Then, as you add to it you are building upon your new lifestyle!!
 

HOW TO THINK

 

Positive thinking is the only way to achieve success because success is a positive. You cannot achieve a positive with a negative.

 
  • Each morning before you get out of bed, recite a gratitude about yesterday’s success and today’s opportunity to succeed.
  • Each morning before you get out of bed, review your goals for the day. Picture the activity as it fits into your routines. See your Self successfully achieving each of the sub goals and hear your positive thoughts.
  • Each night upon retiring, review your successes and be grateful for each of them.
  • Each night upon retiring, create any necessary solutions for those goals you do not feel were successfully achieved.
 

Listen for thoughts or statements of hidden expectation:

 
  • “I should”
  • “I need to”
  • “I am suppose to”
 

Each of those phrases is speaking to you about how you have expectations tied to your resolution. Expectations are not from you — EVER! They are always from what you have learned from others. Those phrases, when thought or spoken, are telling you that this is an area of internal conflict. In other words, what you have scheduled your Self to do does not match your internal comforts. The expectations undermine your success by pulling you toward feelings of not good enough. This is a time you are desiring a reinvention of your Self in some way. You do not need other people’s expectations pulling you away from your desires!

 

Finally, listen within your Self for thoughts of hope. With hope there is doubt. “I hope I can … !” suggests you doubt you can. This is a very different hope than the spiritual hope. Listen to your thoughts for statements of hope and ask your Self what your doubts are! Once you identify the doubts you can heal them. Otherwise, they will undermine your success. Doubt is fear, fear undermines positive thinking!

 

HOW TO DEVELOP THE EXPERIENCE

 

It is the internal experience that the resolution gives you that is critical to your life. To develop that, you must know what it is you wish to experience. What are your desires that you believe your resolution will give you? What will it feel like within you once you achieve your resolution?

 

Once you have identified the experience your goal offers you, there are several things you can do to enhance your success of meeting your goals.

 
  • Create a “sign” with the goal and the sub goal you are currently pursuing. Make sure it is aesthetically pleasing. Make several copies of this. Place each copy in a location that you will see daily and frequently. Each time you see the “sign”, allow your Self to feel the experience the goal will give you.
  • Mantra — Repeat a sentence that says “I am grateful to have …” at least 20 times each of 5 times per day. The statement must be in present tense as if it is happening. As you are repeating the statement, you want to be feeling the experience the completed goal gives you.
  • Vision board — collect pictures, words, etc. that define the goal(s) you are achieving for the year and put them onto a board that you will see repeatedly through out the day.
  • Live the feeling as if you have already achieved your goal. Do this consciously. You can do it for an hour each day or for an entire day, You will know what you can do successfully.
  

In conclusion, you can be one of the 0.7% of people who are successful with their New years’ Resolutions if you can develop a plan of what you can do to incorporate the change, change your thinking, define the way the success of the resolution will be experienced, and then build upon living that experience until it is manifest. This process is easily doable but may require some further direction. Please contact my office for online seminars for successful resolutions and with any questions you may have.

 

I’m very proud to announce that this is the first of many articles which will be featured in Our Town News magazine.

 

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Kristen Bomas, PA
398 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 104
Boca Raton, Fl 33432

561.212.7575
KB@KristenBomas.com

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