BLOGS

For the last part in this series I want to talk more about identifying emotions. This might sound simple, but I find that people struggle more with identifying their fear-based emotions than their love-based emotions.  Usually, because they do not like the way it feels and have stayed away from them, or have had trauma and have shut them down or never were taught. It can have myriad reasons. Whatever the reasons are, they are anchored in the fear of feeling the pain. 

Often people do not know what they are feeling because they are fearful of their feelings.

Love-based emotions are the ones you enjoy feeling and they make you feel even better when you feel them.  Consequently, people do not struggle as much with those emotions.  At least, that is, until expressing those emotions triggers fears of intimacy.  Often, in working with people who have fears around intimacy, they truly struggle with expressing the loving emotions they have for their partner. As examples: they may say how much they love their partner in a   very matter of fact style and so it does not feel as “real” to their partner; or, they may try to say something loving but they keep talking and go right into something that needs to change or something their partner is doing wrong. There is a vulnerability that can be felt by those who are afraid of intimacy.  Feeling vulnerable is fear.  Feeling open is love.

Feeling loving feelings are wonderful for the person experiencing them.  Yet, for some, those feelings are somewhat uncomfortable or foreign.  For those who feel uncomfortable with expressing or feeling loving emotions, you know it is the warm loving feelings that are making you feel uncomfortable.  Remember, uncomfortable is fear.  Therefore, what you a re learning about your Self is that there is fear around feeling your love feelings. In other words, inside you, you have a feeling that is love-based. THEN you have an uncomfortable feeling because you have become aware of the love-based feeling!  You cannot feel fear while feeling love.  You can feel it on either side of loving feelings but not during.  So, in this case, love itself is not uncomfortable, knowing you are feeling them brings up old fears or beliefs that are uncomfortable.

Then there are the fears that keep us from knowing if love is love!  Often people want to know what love is.  What is its definition?! They are looking for clarity because they cannot trust the feelings inside their Self without an external reassurance of description. This can be from a need to feel the way you “should.” Oftentimes, the questions about the love-based emotions that someone feels come from fear of not knowing if they “should” feel the way they do.  What is love?  It is an age old question from the intellectual mind.

Often people do not know what they are feeling because they are fearful of their feelings.  They may fear intimacy or they may fear their anger.  If you are not able to feel the full range of emotion, you know you have a fear that needs to heal.

When learning about Self-Mastery, it is critical that one is very aware of their emotions and feelings. Emotions are the language of the soul. We all have the same emotions.  It is a universal language in this life and an integral part of your purpose in this life. It is also an integral part of your experience in this life.   Consequently, understanding your emotions and knowing how and why you feel are important aspects of self- and life-mastery.  Let’s address this.

Emotions are energy that is transformed into feelings within your body.  The energy of your emotions connect you to the energy of this physical life and to the energy from where you came. Therefore, emotions are the way to know the truth of who and what you are.  Let’s look at what that means.  

you experience fear and fear-based emotions in this life in order to “know” the truth of your Self

Imagine the energy from where you came, it is the energy of sound.  Now, imagine that sound is one chord of infinite notes.  You are Note C.  You know you are Note C but do not know what that means because all you know is the sound of the chord.  Then, one day, Note C goes out of tune and the whole chord screams, “Note C is out of tune!”  You are like, “That’s me! That’s me!” 

All can hear you and you can “identify” you because you are no longer in harmony or unity with the chord, “The One”. It appears to you that you are separate and can be “seen” by the chord as Note C and that you can feel your Self as separate from the chord as Note C.  But the illusion is that you are separate because you never left the chord.   

Being out of tune IS this life and the out of tune are your fear-based emotions.  Consequently, your fears of this life are critical to your purpose.  Let’s now look at what all this means and why it is an integral part of our general purpose in this life.

Let’s go back to being Note C.  The out of tune is fear.  When a note is out of tune it stands out because it is not harmonious.  It can be extremely out of tune or just a wee bit out of tune.  But either way, as it is tuned back into harmony with the chord it is aware of its Self! 

As a result, once it is in tune and in harmony with the infinite chord it has an awareness of who and what it is as an integral part of the infinite. Consequently, you experience fear and fear-based emotions in this life in order to “know” the truth of your Self and how you are an integral part of the whole.  

In my next blog we will uncover just how much these fears can hide the truth of who you are, and why acknowledging and overcoming fear-based emotions is vital to your life mastery journey.

What is the energy of life and what does that mean?

Just about everyone talks about the soul leaving the body at the “end” of this life. What is the soul?  The soul is an energy and energy does not end.  It changes form but always has been, always will be and always is.  So that soul energy must be “something” before it enters this life.  And so it is.  It appears to be a source of and sourced from the energy of love.

The soul chooses to enter this life as an experience.  It enters at conception. That soulful energy has its own freewill.  It is the freewill that allows the soul to choose any experience it wishes to have in this lifetime. IF the soul chooses its experience then the energy of the soul is a critical part of this existence for you.

Love is abundance! It is infinite in its pure experience. Energy is abundant and forever. Abundance and love are freedom.

People mostly agree that an apparition of a passed being is energy.  An energy that takes a gentle form or image in order for you to recognize its source.  It is an energy that exists as a part of Source or Love.  It is an energy that is perceived as separate from our physical understanding of this existence.  And yet, it resides concurrently with and directly influential of our physical human experience.  It is the soul presenting to the physical world to show the unity and oneness of “life.”

Because the soul is energy, the language of the soul must also be energy. Emotion is energy until it is felt as a feeling.  Therefore, emotion is the language of the soul and is inherent in intuition and its interpretation.  As you move beyond fear and into mastery of this life, or enlightenment, you unveil a wisdom, or a knowingness, that goes beyond your physical teachings. That unveiled wisdom is the same in each individual.  This is one way we know there is validity in the wisdom. It is the wisdom that allows us to know life beyond this physical form.  The likeness of all wisdom opens you to the idea of a source of energy that is One.

Your intuition is a language of the energy realm.  It is the bridge of you in physical to the energy.  The bridge is that knowingness and intuition that allows you to communicate with the source, or one. Intellect and knowing are different.  Knowingness is wisdom.  Wisdom is the same for each person who accesses it.  Therefore, there is something beyond this physical form that allows us to know beyond this physical form.

That something is energy. The energy of love.  It is what we are and where we are “from”. It is why we all are focused on love and finding love and being in love, etc.! Within each of you, you know love, even if you have never been in a truly loving environment.  You know the ideal mother, you know the ideal feeling of love.  You know these things because at your core, you are love. 

Love is abundance! It is infinite in its pure experience. Energy is abundant and forever. Abundance and love are freedom.  The experience of freedom is an emotion or feeling.  It is an energy. Therefore, when you are looking for love in this life you are looking for freedom, abundance, and expansiveness in your life.  

So when you meet someone and you feel that connection, you may call it chemistry but it is energy.  It is the energy of life.  That energy is then felt through your body’s chemistry. So, you may ask why sometimes you feel such a strong attraction to someone who does not turn out to be that ideal partner.  It is because the “fear” in this life covers up the truth of who you are and is the part of your life attracting the partner.  Fear is always an illusion and can create illusions.  So, the familiarity of someone creates a feeling of “Wow!” inside but, eventually,  you realize that person is oh-so familiar in their patterns and styles. In this life, you learned fear.  That fear covers up the truth of you that is love.  Fear limits you and can make you feel small.  Love is expansive and can make you feel invincible.  In this case, the fear has created the familiarity and the energetic connection because you are meant to master or transcend the challenge(s) that connected you to this pattern in the first place.

That is why love of Self is so important.  The more you learn to love your Self the greater your ability to know the love that you wish to experience.  You will also learn to know the depth of love within you and that will illuminate the depth of love you wish to experience!

I want to make one more comment about the energy of life.  It is a soul’s journey.  Each life is a soul having AN experience.  People doubt this because there is no “proof.” That is mostly because science studies the physical.  It only believes in what can be seen or tested.  It is a fixed paradigm.  We have a plethora of evidence that people experience “life” after death (which means there is NO death just a transformation.) We have hypnosis that takes people to an experience elsewhere and, when we research the life described, we can find evidence of its existence.  We have memories that are of experiences elsewhere.  We have memory of our entry into this physical life.  The problem is that our current science does not like the quasi experiments needed to begin to open the doors to understanding the energy that resides within the physical body as a soul.  

In conclusion, there is an abundance of data that supports the knowingness that energy is the core of this experience. As a soul having a human experience, you can start to understand that if you ARE love then of course you are looking for love.  Then you also can begin to understand why you wish for a partnership.  Because you feel so separate, you wish to be connected and unified as one with love and through love.  I hope each of you opens your Soulful Self to the love that you are and can unite in an ideal partnership that opens the abundance of life and freedom.

When people say, “I need to learn to set boundaries,” I find it confusing. How do you set boundaries? Do you tell the other person what to do and what not to do? Does that work? My experience is no, it does not. This life is yours and is about the experience you wish to have and the experience you are having. Boundaries are the natural outcome of knowing and speaking your truth. They are not things you do or say to affect the other person’s behaviors! Let’s look at how you are taught by society and what the truth about boundaries can be.

There really is no such thing as “setting boundaries”. People believe in boundaries because they are looking for ways to find happiness in their relationships, to not feel taken advantage of, to not be misunderstood, to be treated as they wish, etc. The answer, however, is within YOU. Once, you know YOU and know what you wish to experience then it is about putting that experience into motion. The natural outcome of that is you will find happiness and you will find others treating you beautifully because you will not accept anything less. There is a continuous, spontaneous expression of Self that eliminates the angst of having to struggle with “how to set boundaries” when another person does something you do not like. You will be within your Self observing the other rather than trying to participate within the expectations of the other at your expense.

Setting boundaries is a term that we have learned to use to suggest a way to keep people from violating our space. But what does that really mean? It can be quite confusing when you are told what to say in particular situations and in particular relationships and are told that you “need” to set boundaries in all areas of your life (emotionally, physically, sexually, time, intellectual, material).  Whew! That is a lot to keep track of! If your space is defined by the experience you wish to have, then as soon as someone goes against that experience you stop it. For example, if you respect yourself and somebody attempts to be disrespectful, you will immediately say “I will not tolerate disrespect,” and you will move away from that conversation and person. No one has to tell you that is what you need to say and do.  (Interestingly, when you have a deep solid respect for yourself, it is very rare that a person will be disrespectful.) 

Setting boundaries is a term that we have learned to use to suggest a way to keep people from violating our space. But what does that really mean?

Consequently, if you are listening to what you “should” do, it can become overwhelming to “try” to know how to set boundaries with whom, in what situations, and when. That is because you are listening to others tell you how to be with people in Your life. They are setting expectations of You and are focused on what others are telling you and not what you are desiring. When you learn how to create the experience that you wish to have, then you are committed to You not someone else. But when you talk about setting boundaries, you are focusing on the numerous outside factors which leaves a lot of room for angst and frustration. Because frustration is helplessness mixed with anger, the boundaries you attempted to set, often fall by the wayside and are not truly “set” but are suggested.  This can further your frustration.

Frustration can come because you are still looking outward and trying to meet expectations. You may then find yourself NOT looking inward at what you wish to experience and you may find yourself doing something you didn’t intend to do.  Others may tell you to set boundaries and to say “No,” to the very expectations that you feel you have to meet in order to feel good about yourself!  How easy is that going to be for you? What if, instead, you understand that you are struggling with a fear of not feeling good enough and that leads to you “trying” to meet expectations. 

Hopefully you can see the irony in being told that boundaries are healthy while being told to focus outside your Self in order to do and say what they are teaching.  What is healthy? It is you having an experience in this life that is fulfilling to your happiness and growth. It is about YOU!  The more you try to meet the expectations of others the further away you get from your truth and the experiences that will bring you true happiness.

It is important to know your style and to honor that within your Self. Then you will make choices that suit your happiness. For example, some people save every penny they make and others spend every penny they make.  That is individual choice, free will. So, each person may lend money differently. But if you lend that money based upon your own comfort then you do not need to set expectations on the other who is going to receive it. If, however, you have the expectations that the other person will exude your style because you lent the money, then you will more than likely be disappointed or feel badly in some way. When you know YOU and what makes you happy, you will stay within that expression of self. Another example, some of you like your personal space and time. GREAT! That is an experience that is important to you and your happiness. Therefore, you will take that time and if another tries to interrupt then, of course, you will teach them about YOU and what is important to you. 

In conclusion, all of your life is about YOU!  It begins and ends within you. Therefore, the more you know you, the more you will be able to know the experiences you wish to have.  The more you believe in and live the experiences you wish to have, the more you will gently and solidly hold to those experiences. The outcome of that will be that “boundaries” are gently observed.   In knowing your Self and the experiences you wish to have, you will find great balance in your life because you will easily stay in that space of happiness and comfortability, centered in your own love.