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«successful women» TOPIC

Realizing Your Me Brand

Whether in business or life each person has a brand. The problem is that most people are unconscious of their brand. How do we consciously and with intent create our own personal brand — a Me Brand?


In business, we are familiar with product and corporate brand. As a result, employees may identify with the company or product brand and thereby not see the importance of their own brand within that structure. An owner may identify with the brand and reputation of her or his company but that does not determine her or his self identity and reputation. People will separate the two. For example, “Joe” may be seen as a brilliant business owner but a miserable man. Identifying with the “other” brand, the individual is not conscious of their Me Brand.


A Me Brand is important for many reasons, e.g., sales, corporate culture, and personal success. A sales person can repeatedly sell a product to a customer or develop a relationship with a client who buys for a lifetime. A customer purchases without loyalty and may shop lowest price or convenience. A client develops loyalty and buys from someone with whom they have a relationship. So, if you would like to develop a relationship with potential clients or existing customers you may benefit from developing a Me Brand.


Often, in order to develop a consistent culture, corporations are using “personality” typing with employees and new hires. While this is helpful, it can be enhanced by assisting the employee with the use of that information to develop their Me Brand. They are then consciously creating their unique identity with their strong qualities and adding to the diverse yet unified corporate team as well as to the clients and or bottom line.


In order to develop a successful career personally, development of your brand is important. Your brand can exist because of the perceptions and assumptions others have of you. That is not a brand of which you are necessarily aware nor is it the way in which you want your brand to develop. Do you know how others perceive you? How do you want to be known? It is important for you to be able to answer that question with honest thoughts and goals. It is also important to understand that there are ways you may want to be known but you may be coming across different. Consequently, it is important to understand what is causing the difference so the correction can be made.


Everything in business starts with you! What is the experience you wish to create and to have in each of your business relationships? In order to define and create those experiences you must be aware of your Self. Your attitude, your philosophy, your personality are the first aspects that your colleagues, peers, managers, clients, and others see and experience. The more aware you are of how and who you are in business (or life) the more clear and consistent your brand will be reflected. The more you are branded as a positive, likable person, the more people and clients will want to know you. Consequently, the greater your success!


Women’s Empowerment?

Women do not need to be empowered!! That implies they don’t have the power. But women are power — graceful, beautiful power. They are a source of power and an expression of power. The problem is that women have been subsumed into a patriarchal structure for so long that they forgot where they hid their truth! The truth of who they are as magikal, healing, powerful women. And so, women need to learn how to unveil the very power that is their’s and then it will become a natural part of their expression in their lives. Women will then begin to teach their daughters and other women.


To the indigenous people of the land, women were honored for who and what they were/are. They created life and community. They were protected. That honoring was the same for all indigenous people on all continents. At that time, people enjoyed the balance of the male-female energy in genders and in life. The men would hunt and the women would gather. It was a simple but deep appreciation for the differences that so beautifully complimented one another. Then society began and the warriors became the leaders and society became patriarchal and women became possessions: shamed and oppressed. Over time, women bought into their status and began to identify themselves through men’s perspective and wants.


Women have been through a lot over this time. For example, they have been accused of evil, shamed for having their own thoughts, and have been sexualized. With the advent of Christianity, only male priests were allowed to heal. So, all of a sudden, anyone else healing was practicing the work of “the devil”. That resulted in women being accused of being witches if they healed. Witches became perceived as evil rather than the healers they were. While it’s impossible to have an exact number historians estimate at least 35,000 to 100,000 were burned and tortured from 1450-1750AD. Women have also been kept by patriarchal structures that shame them or destroy them for having their own thoughts or desires. Some of those cultures are still castrating their women! Many cultures don’t pay a woman the same as a man, (The U.S. included! Click Here for some interesting stats. ) a very subtle form of shaming a woman. Women have been extensively sexualized. They are sex objects in movies (even if they are the hero!!!), tv, media, life. Over time, as can be seen through these examples, women have been destroyed: physically, emotionally, and energetically. Consequently, the balance shifted to an imbalance of male energy in a patriarchal environment and women bought into the fear that they could be destroyed. Women then submitted at various levels. (This is a blog entry in and of itself.)


As women gain an awareness, a comprehensive awareness, of how they have been remodeled to the needs of the male, they can begin to see the truth of who they are as women and in absence of the male definition that historically they had to buy into. It is at that point that women will begin to heal. They will begin to unveil and step into their power. Women will then begin to define and create their own experiences in their lives and for others. Women will no longer wait for men or society to define them. What a beautifully powerful place to be.


Success and Anorexia

Many strong, successful career women seem to have had eating disorders in their past. And many of those women seem to have married or are dating men who are much more attentive to the home and children. It is as if the roles and definitions have been reversed.


In my experiences, it appears that, in general, strong ambitious women do not learn how to define themselves in this culture so they identify with men in their need to find acceptance. When young, they may struggle with their female curves and body and, more often than not, work to eliminate it with the eating disorder. It seems to be of continued importance for them to maintain an attractive figure and appearance in adulthood. They also continue to develop a more male-oriented position in life through career and providing. They tend to have a hidden judgment about being taken care of and so make sure they do not need to be “taken care of” by providing for the family. It may be important for them to feel in control. Again, this may be due to the need to identify with a man’s world and find acceptance through being good enough.


But why do they tend to marry or date less ambitious men? It appears to represent their need to feel accepted without having to work so hard at it; to be able to relax and not take things so seriously. It appears to be a compliment to their intensity. It is as if they are learning to love the very part of themselves they used to hate. As if they are accepting the very characteristics in their partner that they desperately needed accepted in their Self as a child.


More often than not, however, the relationship appears to take on an abusive quality. That again, goes back to the days of the eating disorder. The control of the eating, was the struggle to stay away from the judgment of not being good enough. It is that very judgment that creates shame in an individual. The judgments may also allow the woman to feel unaccepted and, consequently, not belonging to the family or group. The shame and absence of belonging are two consistent characteristics in the abuse pattern in an individual.


A woman of this experience may be struggling internally with being good enough and may still be looking for extrinsic rewards or reinforcers to confirm that she is good enough to be loved, accepted. Part of this may be due to the perception that in our society, women need to shut down their female aspects to succeed in business. This leaves an internal feeling of not being good enough because as a woman you cannot be who you are. It may also be that the very shame that developed in them as young women interrupted their ability to define their Self and lead to the eating disorder or more. Or, maybe, as an ambitious female, her role models were males and so she learned to shut down her female aspects to be more like a man in order to be accepted by men. This suggests women may perceive that they cannot be accepted into a man’s world for who they are and so need to be like a man to be accepted as a professional among them. It may then be more clear that they would choose a partner who is complimentary, supportive, and caring of who they are.


As women begin defining their Self from an intrinsic point of reference, they will begin to accept their Self for who they are which will lead to feeling accepted by others and, consequently, society. Women will then pass forward the defining of self for self and by self. This will end women defining themselves through men. I believe the ending of women defining their self through men will also have an impact on the numbers of eating disorders. Just think, mothers and women will no longer press their daughters and younger women (respectively) to be thin in order to be loved, they will begin teaching a healthy lifestyle that embraces the unique characteristics of each child. Something so many women want and try to achieve.


Kristen Bomas, PA
398 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 104
Boca Raton, Fl 33432


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