WEEK FOUR

We have all had it drilled into us that healthy eating and exercise are critical to a balance in life. Yet some people exercise too much, some not at all, and some people exercise and feel stressed by it. Where do you lie in that continuum? How do you understand and define healthy eating? Do you find yourself going on diets to lose weight and then gaining weight back again? Do you desire to eat healthy? What does that mean to you? Is it a lifestyle or a temporary diet change? To exercise and eat healthy is to bring balance into your life but when exercise and healthy eating are not clearly defined, it can actually lead to stress and imbalance rather than balance in your life.

Stress, Self and Better Health: Exercise and Diet

Let’s start with exercise. How do you define exercise? And, once you’ve defined it, how do you exercise? Is it easy for you to initiate exercise? Is exercise on your daily calendar? How is it on your daily calendar? It is important to know what you enjoy and don’t enjoy. You may not think you enjoy ANY physical activity. If so, is there any activity that you enjoy watching? Or is there someone whose activity is of some interest to you? There are many ways to find your form of exercise!

Not many people exercise in a way that is freeing of stress and complementary to their health. Why? They are exercising because they think they should, they’re exercising because they want the external results, they are exercising to stay away from emotions, and so much more. For some, exercising is truly enjoyable. Are you one of the many who would like to exercise but can’t seem to get started or stay consistent? If you are pushing your self to do something that is counter to your desires oftentimes you will have those results. Again, to bring things into balance you need to know where you are in conflict with your desires and interests.

Eating healthy is another interesting dilemma for many. There are many ways to eat healthy. It can be an individual style. When do you find you are least apt to eat healthy: when you are in a rush, hurting, angry, etc.? Those influences must be honored before you can design a healthy eating lifestyle that brings balance into your life. Foods that you like and don’t like are important to acknowledge. Foods that your body does not tolerate need to be addressed as well. Do you tend to eat until you feel full? Do you not eat enough? Do you binge? When there are imbalances in what you “should” be eating and what you find yourself eating, you must stop and ask why?

What you eat and how you exercise influences your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. It is a vital part to balance in your life. Yet, by not seeing your internal balance with food and exercise, you could be adding an extra layer of imbalance in your already-stressed life!

Your challenge this week is to list the pros and cons of your current exercise program. If you don’t have one, then list what an ideal exercise program would be for you (be as creative as you’d like!). Now, pick 3 things you would like to change about your eating and/or 3 things you like about your eating. List your favorite must-have foods.

WEEK THREE

Welcome back to our 30-Day Challenge: Stress, Self and Better Health!

Let’s review last week’s challenge:Self Awareness. What was it like looking at your Self experiencing types of movies, books, or music? Were you able to pick a favorite? Were you able to identify your own experience? What did you learn about your Self as you described what moves you without using verbiage that connotes others or outside references? Did you get frustrated? Did you give up? It is very difficult to learn to focus only on your own internal experience of an event. Keep practicing and we will learn more in the workshop.

Stress, Self and Better Health: Meditation and Breathing

Breathing and meditating are the key ingredients to decreasing stress in your life. They heal and prevent stress. They are two of the most important tools for healing and managing anxiety as well.

This week I challenge you to just become conscious of your breath. RIGHT NOW, I want you to become aware of your breath going in and going out of your lungs. Do not change your rhythm or depth of breathing, just follow it in and out. Notice how it feels. Do you feel your chest rising and falling? Do you feel your diaphragm (or tummy) expanding and contracting? Practice becoming aware or conscious of your breathing everyday while sitting, driving, reading, etc!!

Now, while consciously breathing, I want you to close your eyes and begin repeating the phrase “Thank you for the peace within me.” Repeat it over and over at least 20 times. Allow your Self to recognize what it would feel like to experience a peace within your Self. Focus on the internal experience of peace until it begins to happen. I challenge you to do this while laying in bed or on a couch, while driving or riding, when taking an interim break from working on something. I challenge you to do this at least 3 times a day 20 repetitions each time.

Go forth! Step into your peaceful center and let the storm be outside you only! I thank you for participating!

WEEK TWO

Welcome back to our 30-Day Challenge: Stress, Self and Better Health!

Let’s review last week’s challenge: Expectations. How many of you put the rubber band on your wrist? Were you surprised by the number of times you had to go for the rubber band? Did you notice a change in the number of times you noted the words of expectation as you went through the week? I don’t want any of you to change your words. That is stress producing. If the words are used (in thought or verbiage), listen for them and hear them but do NOT change them. The words will change on their own as you begin to learn more about your Self and what you are about.

How many expectations did you put upon your Self versus another? Was it lopsided or balanced? This will teach you what you learned. If you are more apt to speak expectations to others but not to your Self, what might you be judging in others? Or, vice versa, if you are finding yourself speaking expectations to your Self but not as frequently to others, what are you feeling about you and your worth?

Did you find your Self very aware of others using expectations? If so, you may be on the way to understanding from whom you experience stress versus from whom there is more support.

This is a great beginning for you all! As you join me in the online course you will learn more about the expectations versus truth and support. Let’s turn our attention to this week’s challenge!!

Stress, Self and Better Health: Self Awareness

It is very important that you learn to listen to your Self. How many of you like to be heard by others? Well then, that answers the question as to why you simply listen to your Self rather than constantly correcting your Self.

In living a balanced life, everything centers (or rests) in YOU! This life is your’s and is about you. Life, therefore, is experienced inside YOU! Consequently, when talking about developing balance in your life you must know what that experience means to you. As we talk about stress, self and health the self is in the middle of the equation because it is the very piece that balances the stressors and it’s health. So this week’s challenge will address self awareness.

Many times, when asked about your Self you may quickly answer with what you do. That is not, however, who you are. This culture tends to enforce an external view of self and others. This tends to be a large part of your stress level and, consequently, your health. So let’s go within!

In general, you can better any aspect of your life by knowing what you wish to experience as a result of the relationship with that aspect. If it is your career, how do you want to experience the hours you spend in your career? If it is your partnership, how do you want to experience your partnership? And so on… Too often you may find yourself saying “I want my job to be …,” or “I wish my partner was/would…” Both of those thoughts are of the external portion of the relationship. You want to ask your Self what YOU want to experience. It may sound something like this: I want to experience a fulfillment that gives me internal calm with each person with whom I work; or, I would like to experience a beautiful hum from the rhythm in my relationship with my partner. It doesn’t matter that others understand your experience or not. It matters that it makes sense to YOU!

So this week we will do an exercise that helps you understand how to define the experiences you are wishing to have in your life. What is your favorite type of movie, book or music? Write that down. Now, ask your Self why you like that type. Does it move you, make you laugh, excite you, etc.? As you move through the week see if you can come up with other experiences that type of entertainment evokes in you. It may bring up memories, challenges, fears, dreams, emotions, identifying elements, or so much more! While doing that can you name your favorite movie, book, or artist? What makes it your favorite? Answer that question as if there is no one else on this earth but you. this is not an easy request. Give it your best and we will do much more with this in the workshop!

I am so thankful to you all for participating!

I am not making a political statement nor am I making a statement regarding our immigration policy. I am making a statement about the righteousness of the American people when they believe, egotistically, that they have the right to hate the diversity of fellow Americans! It is that very diversity that gave us the opportunity to be free!!

Why do people hate? As Americans we are a culture and country created of people from multiple countries. So when did we decide to hate the very diversity that defines us? If “we judge only in the way we are fearful of being judged“, then what does that say about all of those who are showing hate for diverse individuals these days?

The only people who are truly American and are not descendants from another nation are the Native American Indians! No one needs to doubt that! And yet, those who are showing hate towards people who are from other countries are the same people hating the native Indians!! That suggests that they are fearful of anyone different than their Selves. That puts them in a very dark force and removes them from their light.

Prejudice has always been seen as black magic, or what today some call evil. It goes against the rhythm of life and life’s teachings. It goes against the human rights of another. It is pure fear iced with ignorance. In this country we have freedom of speech. It is that very freedom of speech that, when used to spew dark prejudice, imprisons the speaker. It’s ironic how people will use their freedom to imprison themselves. Furthermore, those feelings of hate or prejudice are only within the person feeling them. Those emotions are eating at the very heart of those who speak the harsh words. To make it even more sad, those very people who are speaking such hurt, experience a desire for unconditional love and acceptance in their own lives!

America is built upon and defined by the most high spiritual principles. Have we forgotten that? Have we decided we’re not capable of living up to that? Instead of standing in a state of fearful, fragmenting, hatred, why can’t we choose to stand in unity, harmony, and love? When we go against the people IN this nation, we go against the people OF this nation and we go against the very virtues and integrity of the nation itself. So when you tell the Americans who have migrated here from elsewhere to go back to their countries you are in essence telling the nation to go to hell.

To those of you who choose to hate, I offer you a challenge. If you think you have such strength to hate then do you have such strength to accept and do you have such strength to understand that the soul is the truth that lives on. And do you have the strength to heal your spirit from the very fears and fear-based thoughts or experiences so that you may find true freedom in this life. After all, we are all one.

Thank you, Coca-Cola for your inspiration and your grounding in life’s principles. You are teaching a nation to be free!

Damn!! I can’t believe I did that. How stupid! … You LOST weight! But I surely FOUND it!

How often do you find yourself talking poorly to your Self? Too often people say, whisper, or think negatively of their Self – negative self talk. Sometimes it is so progressed that it happens without awareness. It isn’t that people want to talk harshly to themselves, it is just something that is familiar and learned. People don’t like it when others talk badly about them, judge them, or hurt them. People would rather experience kind words from others. They want to be liked, believed in, and heard. And similarly, they must then learn to talk positively to themselves. Let’s look at the negative self talk and its affects and then address positive self talk and how it can be brought to the forefront.

In order to talk negatively to your Self you must have learned such judgements and labels. It is of your past. And so, the negative self talk is one way you keep yourself from living in the present. Negative self talk keeps you in your past – in those challenges that keep you from true happiness. It is driven by fear of not being good enough or shame. That means that it is not part of who you truly are. It is what you assimilated from everyone else and is how you are carrying them around with you daily!!

How might it serve you to judge and criticize your Self so harshly? (Don’t say it doesn’t!) At some level you may be trying to master those very judgements. Or, you may be looking for the indirect compliments that come when someone says “No you aren’t,” or “Don’t talk to yourself that way.” Whatever it is, it is not comforting you. The negative thoughts are destroying your Self and its identity, confidence, and esteem. They are fueling the very insecurities that you would love to live without. Those insecurities keep you from life’s happiness and fulfillment. Which would you rather experience – laughter and joy or loneliness and sadness? Which do you think you’re feeding when you talk negatively to your Self?

The more you live in judgment of your Self, the more you are living with a fear of judgment from others. Further, the more you live in judgment of your Self, the more you are judging others. Consequently, if you are judging your Self AND others you are doubling up on feeding the fears that YOU are being judged. Ah! That is not a path to happiness!

The judgments and criticisms of your self talk are anchored in your fear-based emotions. Fear feeds on your thinking and then feeds your fear-based thinking. That means the negative self talk feeds upon itself and grows and picks up speed. Much like any fear does – it spirals rapidly. If those thoughts and comments are increasing in your daily existence, then how are they affecting your perceptions of the world around you? Negatively!! Further, if your perceptions are your reality then your reality is pretty negative. Ugh!

As you go forward, listen for your negative thoughts, comments, etc. and say to your Self – “STOP!” Saying stop breaks the momentum and alerts you to the negative self talk. That awareness is the biggest step. Then ask your Self if you would allow someone to talk to your child in the way you just spoke to your Self. Hear and feel the “No.” There are several things you can do at this point to begin the healing, but that’s for another forum. It is critical that the awareness grows so you can slow the talk before you begin any further steps in healing.

Once you’ve said “Stop,” it is time to insert a positive comment. Even if all you can say is “You didn’t deserve that” or “No you aren’t (that),” you have started a positive trend. Positive energy and thinking is more addictive than the fear or negative thoughts! So, the quicker you get started the quicker you begin your path to freedom. As your self talk becomes more and more positive your day will be perceived as more and more positive and people will be more positive around you. And so it goes.

There are several things you can do to help the positive self talk. Make a list of positives about your Self. Make another list of what you would like to hear another say to you. Keep the lists handy for positive self talk after you “stop” the negative thought. Compliment your Self when you complete something or do anything successfully. It doesn’t matter how minor the event. Remember, you could stub your toe and rip your Self up over that little event!! Positive thoughts and verbiage help you develop your dreams, your happiness and your freedom!

I’ll leave you with these two thoughts, one is a beautiful quote and the other is a video. I want you to ask your Self after the video, “Don’t you deserve to feel this way about your Self?”

“Thoughts Become Things… Choose The Good Ones!”
― Mike Dooley

Happy Thanksgiving!! I am so very thankful for all of you who are reading my writings and for your comments!! I am also very thankful for all who have paved the way for the freedom I am able to experience in this life and in this country!

Thanksgiving originated as that experience when pilgrims and natives shared and celebrated abundance, freedom, and unity. For many of us, this is a time to express our thanks for freedom and so much more in our lives. And, so, I would like to offer some of my thoughts.

This country is founded on unity that is defined by it’s diversity and it’s people. So, our forefathers developed a bifurcated system of democrats and republicans to allow for the diversity and the unity to exist through a dualistic model. They were wise. (As a side, life presents in a dualistic model: we know there is an up because there is a down; we know there is an inside because there is an outside.)

I would like to suggest that we remember that our freedom is built upon our differences and let’s be thankful for that. I ask for a day when we do not judge, criticize or hate because “they” are not of our party. I am not sure when or why the two parties became so hateful and brutal. we are not an offense and a defense! Whether Democrat or Republican, we are all Americans. I truly hope that on this day we can all be grateful that we have diversity and be thankful that we can all have our own beliefs, opinions, heritage and religions. … I am thankful that we are a free nation and a free people.

My second thought comes from the fact that much of our forefathers’ expanded thoughts and creations came from interactions with the natives. Unfortunately, our freedom came at the expense of another’s loss of freedom — our Native Indians and our warriors. Let us be grateful to the Native Americans as we celebrate this Thanksgiving for they were an integral part of our forefathers’ beliefs and courage. As examples, Benjamin Franklin was enamored by the democracy and liberty that defined the Iroquois and Mohawk tribes; and, it was Thomas Jefferson who wrote, “I am convinced that those societies (as the Indians) which live without government enjoy in their general mass an infinitely greater degree of happiness than those who live under European governments.” This holiday has notoriously not been a pleasant day of thanks for the Native Americans. Our Veterans know better than most the sacrifices made for our freedoms. They have fought and served us always. Yet, let us not forget them and their families as we give thanks and gratitude for our lives on this American Holiday called Thanksgiving!

I truly am grateful for all of you and for your willingness to support me. You will all be part of my Thanksgiving. i am so grateful to be an American and to have the luxuries and freedom that we are offered in this life ! Thank you! May you all have a Thanksgiving that is full of love, abundance, and joy!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Women do not need to be empowered!! That implies they don’t have the power. But women are power — graceful, beautiful power. They are a source of power and an expression of power. The problem is that women have been subsumed into a patriarchal structure for so long that they forgot where they hid their truth! The truth of who they are as magikal, healing, powerful women. And so, women need to learn how to unveil the very power that is their’s and then it will become a natural part of their expression in their lives. Women will then begin to teach their daughters and other women.

To the indigenous people of the land, women were honored for who and what they were/are. They created life and community. They were protected. That honoring was the same for all indigenous people on all continents. At that time, people enjoyed the balance of the male-female energy in genders and in life. The men would hunt and the women would gather. It was a simple but deep appreciation for the differences that so beautifully complimented one another. Then society began and the warriors became the leaders and society became patriarchal and women became possessions: shamed and oppressed. Over time, women bought into their status and began to identify themselves through men’s perspective and wants.

Women have been through a lot over this time. For example, they have been accused of evil, shamed for having their own thoughts, and have been sexualized. With the advent of Christianity, only male priests were allowed to heal. So, all of a sudden, anyone else healing was practicing the work of “the devil”. That resulted in women being accused of being witches if they healed. Witches became perceived as evil rather than the healers they were. While it’s impossible to have an exact number historians estimate at least 35,000 to 100,000 were burned and tortured from 1450-1750AD. Women have also been kept by patriarchal structures that shame them or destroy them for having their own thoughts or desires. Some of those cultures are still castrating their women! Many cultures don’t pay a woman the same as a man, (The U.S. included! Click Here for some interesting stats. ) a very subtle form of shaming a woman. Women have been extensively sexualized. They are sex objects in movies (even if they are the hero!!!), tv, media, life. Over time, as can be seen through these examples, women have been destroyed: physically, emotionally, and energetically. Consequently, the balance shifted to an imbalance of male energy in a patriarchal environment and women bought into the fear that they could be destroyed. Women then submitted at various levels. (This is a blog entry in and of itself.)

As women gain an awareness, a comprehensive awareness, of how they have been remodeled to the needs of the male, they can begin to see the truth of who they are as women and in absence of the male definition that historically they had to buy into. It is at that point that women will begin to heal. They will begin to unveil and step into their power. Women will then begin to define and create their own experiences in their lives and for others. Women will no longer wait for men or society to define them. What a beautifully powerful place to be.

Most women would love to be known for who they are and loved for who they are. Yet, in our culture, what defines an attractive woman is her appearance and what defines an attractive man is his achievement. In a heterosexual environment, most men will never meet the beautiful woman who resides in a body that men or society deem as “not so perfect”. And yet, a woman will meet a good man who resides in a not-so-perfect body.

Who defines a woman’s body as beautiful? It does not appear to be women. Women work very hard and spend billions of dollars annually to create a body they feel will be good enough for our society’s definition of beautiful. Did women truly agree that a beautiful body is one that requires intense work and surgery to maintain?

Women very often hate their body. They are more often than not in a state of judging their body rather than loving their body. Women learn this. They learn that their body is a public viewing of how they are not good enough — not good enough to be accepted or loved. It appears to be an experience that gets handed down through mother to daughter! That suggests that women have bought into a patriarchal view that is destructive of them. A view that appears to say, “As a woman you will never be good enough to be a man.” It is the men in society that dictate what an attractive body type is. It is women who agree to attempt to create it. Consequently, it is the women who suffer the consequences of failing to meet the male expectation. What would happen if women decided to set their own standard of what their beautiful body is?

In order for that to happen, women would have to feel their own power. Women have learned to hide their power and play the roles dictated by a patriarchal society. Part of the hiding comes from the historic obedience to men’s desires that women have accepted. Obedience, however, only occurs as a survival mechanism. It appears to be a large part of the survival mechanism that has been learned and ingrained in women for more than 2000 years. Women have been teaching girls and other women how to be obedient to society’s expectations for a very long time. For example, in Florida the schools are now doing a brief physical on the children and sending letters to parents to notify them of overweight and obese children based up on the body-mass index. In a middle school a female athlete was sent home with a letter to give to her mother that said she was overweight. Unfortunately, they had her height off by 2 inches!! the mother of this particular student was very supportive and notified the school but what would have been the repercussions had that young, fit, healthy, teenager read the letter and had no support that allowed her see the error at MANY levels!!

It has been shown and discussed that women are not attractive when they are ambitious and intelligent (e.g., Miss Representation, 2012). Society has been trained to view an attractive woman as a sexy, thin woman not necessarily a healthy, conservative woman. This sets a stage for women to shy away from developing a sense of professional self. She tends to feel there is a conflict between professional and woman. Just the other day, I was sitting in a business meeting when one of the men stood to give a testimonial about the women in the group. His testimonial was that the women in the group are beautiful and manage to get up early enough for the early meeting to put on their make-up!! Seventy percent of the women were appalled and angry, while 30% giggled and thought it was funny!! All of the women in the group are high-powered business owners or professional (attorneys, doctors, etc.). Even many women who are successful in a corporate environment either shut down their sexuality and dress androgynously or overstate their sexuality and dress provocatively. Why? Because both extremes develop out of a focus on the image of what they are not. Why have women not developed a style that “suits” them in the business world. Each person can develop their own insignia rather than blending into the masses or the expectations. This is where women can begin to teach one another a new way of expressing their professional self.

It is in women choosing to define their Self that change will begin. Women must be willing to know what they want to experience and be willing to create that very experience. Women will need to help each other develop that confidence and inner knowing of who they are in order to initiate change in the cultural view of what they are. It is then that women will be known and loved for who they are from the inside out.

I am SO VERY UPSET!! We realized, in choosing a picture to represent this article that we could choose a horrific picture of an anorexic women or a media-based picture of a woman. I wanted this beautiful woman:

But the people of our culture have been programmed to KNOW the media’s view of women or be captured by hideous horror. It is the only view that will capture the attention of the public! So, even in my office, we chose a picture that would catch the public’s eye. How awful is this situation?! Please let me know your thoughts!