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October 30, 2013

When Did Entitlement Become Fashionable?

As a people, we seem to be defining ourselves as entitled. There are many examples. People don’t vote, but they want things to be in their favor. The father is handicapped, so it is ok for the adult child to use the tag for parking. Because someone has money, he or she feels they should get preferential treatment. Because the other has more money, a person feels deserving of that other paying for something. Even though the policy says one thing, a person who feels entitled feels he or she should be given special variance to that policy. There is the entitled thought that if a person yells loud enough and makes enough commotion, he or she will give or get money back or get their way!! A cop has numbers to make, so he or she dishes out a DUI to a person who makes a traffic error because he or she can (no care for the impact on that person). And so the stories go…

 

Until we stop thinking from this point of reference, we will not take responsibility to make the change needed on this plane. We are not entitled to all of Mother Earth’s resources or each other’s resources. In fact, we are not entitled — period. Many articles talk of entitlement synonymously with narcissism. While there is a cross over, they are each separate and distinct. Entitlement seems to have various characteristics.

 
  • There is an absence of remorse that appears to be in entitlement. There does not seem to be any thought or feeling about the impact of the taking. Yet, there is a burden of responsibility on that other from where or whom an entitled person took. For example: “You scratched my car door but I am going to get my whole car painted at your expense!”
  • There is a selfishness that appears to be a part of entitlement. For example: “I can, therefore I will.” The thought “I want” seems to be the only focus until it’s had.
    There is a litigious attitude fed by and feeding entitlement. For example: “I’ll sue you because I can (I am entitled)!”
  • There is an impatience that exists in entitlement. For example: “I don’t have to wait, to earn, to understand. I want what I want now.” It seems to be fed by an absence of delay of gratification.
  • There is a give-up attitude from entitlement. For example: “I don’t like the way you are in this relationship, I want a divorce.”
  • There is an absence of need to work. For example: ” I should get everything I want when I want it, even if I haven’t worked for it.”
  •  

    Entitlement is a fear-based experience. It comes, at least in part, from the fear of not having or the fear of not being ok or good enough. Somehow a person learns that they do not have to work for what they are receiving. They do not have to earn the experience or object. They do not feel the personal ownership that comes with the earning. They think they deserve things they haven’t earned and may develop contempt for people who work to earn things. That suggests they are lacking in confidence and may feel contempt for themselves if they have to work to earn something. Yet, any time a fear-based experience is in our life, it is an opportunity to heal. Our fear-based emotions and/or experiences are in our lives to show us that which we are not. In other words, they are opportunities to heal and unveil our True, Soulful self.

     

    As long as entitlement is acceptable or fashionable, we will see a vanishing of

  • Gratitude
  • Self respect
  • Frustration tolerance
  • Responsibility
  • Work ethics
  •  

    As those qualities dissipate, the blame mentality and attitude of indulgence and anti-responsibility are fed. It, therefore, affects the way we treat each other, animals, objects, and Mother Earth and her resources. Concurrently, it holds the individual back from their

  • Potential
  • Adventure of life
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Creativity
  • Intrinsic fulfillment
  • Happiness
  •  

    So, where do we begin? With our Self and then our children! In life, there is no entitlement, there is no blame, and there is no expectation. There is only you. So, the true antidote is in the personal acceptance of responsibility for the actions, thoughts, and beliefs that you may have bought into. It takes introspection and a sense of being humble to be aware of where you may be feeling entitled. Once you can be honest with your Self and acknowledge those places where you are feeling entitled, you can begin to unravel the snarled web of all you gathered in this life that lead to the entitlement. It is then that you can begin your healing. As you pay attention to the cords that make up that snarled web, you then can begin to heal your children and redirect them to a life that is absent of entitlement.

     

    11 Comments »

    1. Love this article! Thanks Kristen!

      Comment by Holly — October 30, 2013 @ 3:59 pm

    2. So true I believe that is a vast majority of our population

      Comment by Scott byrne — October 31, 2013 @ 9:59 am

    3. Thank you for sharing your blog, Kristen. What goes hand in hand with this omni-present deluge of entitlement is an alarming absence of manners. How often does a person expecting assistance from a person in a service industry begin their request/demand with “Gimme” or the slightly less belligerent “I want”rather than, “Hello, how are you? May I please have….”

      Comment by Laura — October 31, 2013 @ 10:13 am

    4. I love your ideology and initiatives that we can all strive towards. In my case, I know that the Christian religion tries to teach against that sense of entitlement. However, if we look back, the sense of entitlement has gone back until the beginning of time. Look at our past kings and rulers. I believe we should strive to eliminate the bad qualities that go with the sense of entitlement, but unfortunately how can we eliminate something bred into mankind. (Ok, I am being a cynic.) Great blog, though!

      Comment by Sheri Nott — October 31, 2013 @ 10:15 am

    5. You are so AWESOME Kristen!!! Thank you for sharing!!! I know a few people to share this with!!! LOL!!!
      XO Rachel- 🙂

      Comment by Rachel — October 31, 2013 @ 10:36 am

    6. Kristen, Great article and it is so true.

      Comment by Len — October 31, 2013 @ 11:09 am

    7. Well said!

      Comment by Mart Martinson — November 1, 2013 @ 7:41 am

    8. While I understand why your saying this, I don’t feel entitled to anything. I think that those who currently have don’t have the right to hoard and mistreat those below them. That’s a completely selfish and ungrateful act on behalf of the rich. They would be nowhere without their employees, and yet they feel entitled to mistreat them. I don’t want what I want now, I can wait, and I’m willing to work for and prove I can do it, but I don’t think a lot of the people in this country can wait for the rich to fall flat on their faces due to their ungrateful attitudes. That is the inevitability of exploitation. The lack of justice eventually harms those who do not seek to treat others fairly.

      Comment by Ari — November 2, 2013 @ 8:51 am

    9. Very well said Kristen. The problem as I see it is, the people who have learned to play this system, and there are thousands, will never read this….
      I think our Government is to blame for this… They need to overhaul the Welfare system in this country… All I ever hear from them is overhaul Social Security & Medicare.. Two things that the working people in this country has paid into for all of their working years and now it will not be there for us when we need it… Yet I have seen with my own eyes how welfare works, When I was working a second job to provide for my two sons, (which I raised by myself without hand outs from anyone) I worked at a Food Lion… I watched what these people bought with their food stamps, which was mostly junk food, and then came out of pocket with wads of cash for their booze & smokes. These people were mostly younger by far than myself, and just as healthy, but They had learned to play the system and get away with it big time. The more our Government GIVES the worst this problem becomes and the more it hurts those of us that do work to support ourselves…. And, I just want to add, I am proud that I worked so hard to support my sons, they have both become responsible men who work hard and have beautiful family’s, However, the people who are working to support those who don’t are getting more and more disenchanted with this country, and becoming more depressed…. It is hard to find someone living off the backs of the rest of us that even appears to be depressed, on the contrary they seem happy as larks…no cares in the world….. Perhaps, you need to take your lessons to DC and teach our Government officials.

      Comment by Trish — November 2, 2013 @ 11:15 am

    10. I think this is a real great article post.Much thanks again. Want more.

      Comment by hunter de pluie — November 7, 2013 @ 4:41 am

    11. Have we all searched to see if we might fall into one of these fearful categories? Great article!

      Comment by Phyllis — November 11, 2013 @ 8:24 pm

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