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March 12, 2013

Women and Cheating

Women are now cheating on their relationships as much as men. Is there a difference in the cheating? I would like to address this question over the next week. So, lets begin with a basis of an understanding. The differences in men and women are to be honored. It is in the differences that the unity can occur in life. And yet, women do things that mimic men and men do things to meet women’s expectations. In both cases, the one is identifying their Self through the Other. Today, let’s just look at the differences.

 

For all of time people have divided the world and life into the feminine and masculine. The division was based upon the energy and qualities of the source. Female energy is the receiving energy and, consequently, the passive. Male energy is the going-toward energy and, consequently, the aggressive. For example, in baseball, the pitcher symbolizes the male energy (ball is going toward, aggressive) and the catcher is the female energy (ball is received, passive). We all have both aspects but tend to be dominated by one. Let me go one step further, male energy is linear or solution oriented and female is circular or process oriented. We then socialize our men to be ultra masculine (beyond the male-energy traits) and women to be ultra “sexualized” (sometimes in absence of her female-energy).

 

Historically, women were held in honor and in a position of power because they were the creators of life. Throughout time, the honoring of the woman’s body has remained even when the honoring of the woman has not. In recent ages, this has been failing significantly. The trend appears to have become women not feeling honored but, instead, shamefully not good enough by “social” standards. Most recently, it appears the younger women are not knowing how to honor their position as women and their bodies as a woman’s body. The young women today are showing greater aggression, sexual expression without definition, and androgyny. Feminine has come to mean weak.

 

In life, if someone is “gone against” in some way, they will attempt to master their vulnerable position by “re-enacting” similar situations throughout life but playing the role of the Other who went against them. A potent example of this is a response when a woman is raped. She may respond in a variety of ways but two very common responses are to shut down sexually or to become “promiscuous” (which really is not promiscuity at all). What she is doing in the former is attempting to master the rape by feeling her Self in the forceful position of NO where the Other cannot go against her. In the latter position, she is attempting to master the violence by being in the forceful demanding position sexually and picking up anonymous Others for the sole purpose of sex. Unfortunately in both extremes, the woman leaves the situation re-experiencing the shame and violation from the original criminal event. And so, the emotional pattern begins again.

 

So, back to the question of affairs. I believe there is more to women having affairs than the simplicity of affairs that men are capable of experiencing. Women, in some cases, appear to be attempting to master something that has gone against their integrity in this life or lineage. As a whole, women may be responding to inherent feelings of oppression from this global patriarchal structure — a more subconscious reaction. There may also be hidden anger that they are not aware is being expressed through the action of the affair. Furthermore, a woman’s body adds a very significant difference to the equation because they are meant to receive. Consequently, sexually, women must open their body to receive into it. I will be addressing these differences and the possible meanings to women in the upcoming blog entries. I look forward to your feedback!!

3 Comments »

  1. Very informative Kristen. Never looked at this subject in that way, and am looking forward to future blogs! Good job!

    Comment by Holly — March 12, 2013 @ 4:10 pm

  2. great post! keep them comin!

    Comment by Sarah J — March 12, 2013 @ 4:40 pm

  3. Hi I am so happy I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was browsing on Digg for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a incredible post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the excellent work.

    Comment by torty katowice — April 4, 2013 @ 4:38 am

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