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Anger

March 14, 2018

Modern-Day Murders: How Can The World Change?

How do we begin to understand the number of massacres this country has endured? I am constantly finding myself in the middle of this question. Here are my thoughts. This is not a political statement or a gun statement. It is a statement of what I see as a line of explanation for the frequency of massacres at this time.

I’m 57. Growing up we did not see mass murders. We would hear of some serial murders but not mass shootings/killings. The weapons that were available back then were not much different than today. In fact, some of the weaponry was the same. Yet, the way people murdered was different. Back then it was one person at a time. Back then we talked a lot about copycat murders. We don’t hear that on the news anymore. I want to talk about the copycat concept together with modern day massacres.

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August 16, 2017

We Are Not Born Judging Each Other

cloudsHate is fear; fear is the absence of love! Within your Self, when you judge and hate you are not able to feel love. You may think that your hate and judgment are about the other person or group of people but it is only happening inside you. You are the one living with the hate, rage, anger, and heavy density. It clutters your mind and shadows your heart. Consequently, you are the only one who ends up suffering until, of course, your anger causes harm to others.

 

We are given this life and we were given free will. Free will says you have the right to live with your hate, anger, rage, and judgment. Free will also allows people to live in harmony, love, unity and peace. Free will gives each of us the opportunity to live this life as we choose. What it does not do is support the destruction of the free will and the rights of another human being.

 

You are not born with fear and anger or any of the fear-based emotions. You are not born with judgment since judgment comes from fear. You learned all of that, and the beliefs associated with them, in this lifetime. You thought you had to believe as you were taught to believe. But now you have a choice. Do you want to live with love for you, from you, and for others? Or do you want to live in absence of love? Do you want a life filled with pain, suffering, anger, and heat or a life filled with love and happiness?

 

Can you be grateful for who you are at the same time you’re hating another? The answer is no. So, yes, it is your right to hate, judge, and be angry. It is your choice to live at that level of suffering. Just remember suffering begets suffering and fear begets fear. It is love that begets gratitude, joy, and love. So, I ask you which do you prefer? And be clear, because even if you were feeling anger and hate at those who are angry and hateful you are feeding the darkness not light.

 

May each and every one of you be graced with gratitude, forgiveness, and love.

 

February 18, 2015

Anger and Change

How does anger serve you?

Anger is a much misunderstood and feared emotion. Simply, this is due to having seen or experienced others using anger rather than expressing it. There is much intrigue and questions about the validity of anger and expression of it. I am sharing a question I received a while ago from a friend. See what you think. Feel free to share your thoughts and questions.

 

His question:
If anger is considered a negative emotion but it is such a motivator for change, why do so many professionals and/or spiritually guided people speak against it? Think of how much of history has changed for the better because of those people that stood up and angrily cried out, “No more!”

I appreciate the “total love and peace” mindset but can’t see how that makes serious change where serious change is needed. It seems to be like wishful thinking. (If I wish for something hard enough, maybe it will come true.) It just doesn’t make sense to me. It seems like the ones that are angry and defiant and insist on change, are the ones truly affecting change for the better, not the peaceful ones that don’t speak up. Think of the protests and group rebellions. Do you really think change would have happened without them? These seem to be the people that are doing the dirty work. They’re on the front lines “really” making the difference. Are they causing themselves stress? Yes! But it seems to be what really makes the change. 

 

Answer:
Anger is a fantastic emotion.  I believe we hear spiritualists talk out against it because they are as afraid of it as are most people.  The problem with anger is that we learn to use it not express it.  The other fact about anger is that it is a fear-based emotion. So, let me explain.

 

We can divide all emotions into two categories: love-based and fear-based. Love-based emotions are, for example, love, joy, unity, freedom, harmony, etc.  Fear-based emotions are, for example, fear, anger, hurt, lonely, abandonment, attachment, guilt, shame, pain, etc.  Does that make sense?

 

Assuming it does, I’ll continue. Anger then, occurs as a secondary emotion to the experience of the primary fear-based emotion.  Without anger, we would coil back and not go forward as a result of the original fear-based emotion.  The fear-based emotions make us feel small– like we want to hide or run.  The anger comes in and offers us the ability to go against that which/whom came against us. This is why it can be so affective/effective with change. The secret with learning how to “express” your anger rather than use it, is to know your Self well enough to know what emotion(s) lie(s) beneath the anger and drive it.  It is then that you learn to express the primary emotion with your anger only as the driver. If we look at your childhood experience, we see a young boy who was being shamed, hurt, rejected by bullies. He did not know the options to express himself. So, finally, he stood up to the bully and demanded the respect.  We don’t learn how to demand respect without aggression in this culture. But we can.

 

So, my answer to the global question.  It is not the anger that motivates — it is the anger that is the tool used.  We are motivated by what is on the other side of whatever is angering us. What drives all of this is from our core is love and the desire for acceptance, happiness, and peace.  When that is constantly trampled, we do not know how to express ourselves. Add to that the utter frustration of feeling unheard and we have a volatile combination of emotions!  

 

Can we make change peacefully? ABSOLUTELY!! But first we have to be willing to “go against” with our views because we believe in ourselves!  If we would express from our truth and not from expectation (another sermon!) we would be in a constant state of change. We would unite in the name of acceptance and freedom.  But we don’t. It is our passion for peace and unity that can drive change and peace. You will never find or create peace on a battle field. Stand up for what you believe but be sure you are living it. If I believe in peace, I may be passionate about being heard and may go against an aggressive stance but if I do so peacefully and passionately, I have a greater probability of being heard and having an impact.

 

In conclusion, it takes passion in our beliefs. It takes a willingness to teach and be consistent in our stance. It takes the acceptance of what is to mold it into that which can be. It is then that we will not be so short sighted as to think that anger is the motivation for change.

 

Please contact KB@KristenBomas.com if you have any questions about services, topics or products.

Kristen Bomas, PA
398 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 104
Boca Raton, Florida 33432
Phone: (561) 212-7575
Email: KB@KristenBomas.com

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"Two Eagles" Smith

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