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Exploring the True Intention Of “Do unto Others as You Would Have Them Do unto You”

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How often did you hear that in your life? How often have you said it quietly to yourself or out loud to others? Have you ever stopped to think about the depth of meaning in that wisdom? Let’s address the meaning and significance of this wisdom.


I previously wrote about passing it forward. If you read that, you know that the intention behind what we say, do, and give is critical!! It’s also critical how we receive. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That’s telling you that everything you do, say, think, or project (in anyway) is to be in the name of how you would like to experience it. That’s a very very steep challenge. And yet, you are all capable of achieving it: one baby step at a time. The challenge begins with an understanding of the cycle of doing unto others in the way you wish for them to do unto you! I will then address three areas of mastering the wisdom of doing unto others. Each is a bit deeper than the previous. I will address awareness as it relates to the behaviors and words spoken. Then I will move inside to the thoughts you may have so you can gain an awareness of your thoughts. Finally, I will address intention – the most internal piece of expressing onto others!


Do unto others is also about how you receive. Receiving is doing unto others. Have you ever attempted to give a gift and the person literally rejects it? Or, have you ever given a gift that someone is not comfortable receiving? And what is it like when you give a gift that is received gratefully and open heartedly? The circle in life says what we pass forward will always come back! We will always do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Whatever we do, in any way, shape, and form, we are passing that forward. Even if it’s only an intention. For example, I buy somebody a gift to make them feel guilty. That is not a very nice gift. The intention behind it is hurtful. Guilt is hurtful. So that is passed forward. And it comes back one day so that you have given in the way you want to receive. You have done unto others as you would have them do unto you??


How do we stop the cycle of unintentional doing unto others? How do we begin a cycle that truly is about passing forward that which we wish to receive? Baby steps. Awareness is the most important piece of healing this entire cycle.


Initially become aware of your words or actions. You must be willing to notice those behaviors and words that are not what you would like to receive as well as those behaviors and words that are what you wish to receive. Notice this awareness has nothing to do with that external source that prompted the particular behavior or verbiage that you became aware of as not kind. Now you are ready to consciously choose to change, or insert, one action. Can you consciously perform one act that is exactly as you would like to receive it? If, daily, each of you did one conscious act that reflected how you would like to be treated, you would have a minimum of 365 actions that are positive in the course of the year. Now you can imagine that at least one of those will lead to you being treated with an act of kindness.


You can open your awareness further than that. After you become aware of the behaviors, start to work on the thoughts. Do you have thoughts that contain judgments of others and judgments of self? Do you have thoughts of imaginations of what you’d like to do to that other or maybe even to self? Do you have thoughts of memories that lead to various fear-based emotions? All of those thoughts, when you become aware of them, can be changed one at a time to reflect how you would like to receive them. Do you want to receive a judgment that you are fat, or that you are a loser, or that you are not good enough? Of course not. So why are you passing it forward? Why are you doing unto others (and self) as you truly do not want done to you? Change one thing. Practice it.


When you see the difficulty of generating loving, compassionate and accepting thoughts, you will begin to understand how much you have taken on by others who do not know how to do unto others as they would have others do to themselves. Once we get to the conscious thoughts we can move to the less conscious thoughts then to the intentions and then to the background noise. It’s at that point that the internal change is significant. True unconditional acceptance and love for your Self allows you to openly do unto others as you are doing unto Self.


And so, I wish each of you a very beautiful day of giving and receiving compassion, acceptance, and kindness: one thought, behavior, action at a time!!


Now let’s go one step further. Let’s imagine that you become aware of your background fears inside. For example, you are fearful of not being able to afford or you constantly perceive others as taking from you (or screwing you). That internal experience is a voice to Spirit or God or Universe. Often times when you pray, you pray silently within yourself. Those prayers are still heard, are they not? So it is the voice that is most core to who you are that is most heard spiritually. That voice, therefore, is also a form of passing it forward. That voice came from those who did unto you with their fears. Now you are doing unto others by virtue of your positioning, your energy, your attitude, and more.


We all have experienced a time where we walk into a room and we know that the person or persons in it are upset. We can feel it. The energy that lingers, in this case, has a signature of fear. Fear-based energy is very sticky and thick. It coagulates. So, if we are living in a state of worry or fear we are doing unto others as we would have them do unto us? Probably not. We do not intend to receive fear. We don’t think we want to receive anger, denigration, hate. And yet, if we are experiencing any of that inside we are doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. It will come back.

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Kristen Bomas, PA
398 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 104
Boca Raton, Fl 33432


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