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The Simple Truth About Loneliness


The holidays are about love, unity, and acceptance. People tend to gather with family, friends, and loved ones. And yet holidays can bring up one of the deepest wounds or challenges that we are here to heal: loneliness. All of us can feel lonely. Some suffer with it more than others. Loneliness is that feeling that comes from a fear that there is no one out there who loves you for who you are. So, what is loneliness? Why do we experience this painful emotion?  How does it fit into life mastery? How might The Sage’s Template help you move through and beyond the loneliness?

Loneliness is a temporary experience that illuminates the illusion of being separate. Imagine you are a spark in a flame. You know you are a spark but all you know is the flame until, one day, you jutty off the flame and find you are in complete darkness.  There is a nothingness from the absence of light and other sparks. You don’t realize that you’re going to fall back to the sun and be one with the flame. So, you experience fear of the aloneness that is in complete absence of belonging.  That is much like loneliness. You can feel so separate and alone as if there is no sense of belonging. And yet one day you are one with the whole again.  It is important to know that when you, or someone you know, feels lonely, it is not a permanent state of existence.  It can be quite reassuring to understand that it is a temporary experience.

Fear is always an illusion.  Love is always truth.  Where there is love there is an absence of fear and where there is fear there is an absence of love.

The greatest illusion in this life is that of being separate.  As the parable above shows, the spark was never really separate from the flame.  Sparks jut off the flame and come back to the flame constantly!  That is just part of the experience of being of the one flame.  In likeness, you enter this physical life from a place of energy, love.  In that energetic place you are one energy of love. On this earth, however, you experience fear, and it begins with the fear of separation.  You leave an energy realm to enter a physical water realm to enter the air realm.  Slowly you move away from your awareness of the one. You see the illusion of this life as the reality. Just like loneliness creates an illusion that you are completely separate from love and you believe it is a reality.  But it is not.

Fear is always an illusion.  Love is always truth.  Where there is love there is an absence of fear and where there is fear there is an absence of love. The most painful fear in this life is loneliness. because it is the experience of the absence of love in its purest sense. All other fear-based emotions contain fear, except fear itself.  Yet, with fear itself, there is not that absence because there is a threat perceived. You can perceive fear without feeling lonely, but you cannot feel lonely without feeling fear. Do your best to be aware that this is a time-limited experience that you can master.  You can make it through this, like you can master any of the fear-based emotions. 

So why is it that when you feel lonely you want to further isolate?  Loneliness is the illusion that “others” do not love you.  The truth of this life exists within you.  That is where you learn there is no separation between you and others. The greatest love begins with the love for your Self because it illuminates the truth that you are love.  When you love your Self, you cannot feel loneliness.  So, when experiencing loneliness, you are falling away from others because the truth (beyond the fear) is that the love and the oneness are to be found within your true Self.  The problem is that many people will see the need to isolate as a giving in or a giving up on life.  That is not the truth of why you feel like “being left alone” when you’re lonely.  You feel that way because at a higher level you know that the love you need to move beyond the loneliness is the love for Self.

The Sage’s Template is a tool that helps you understand the experience you are having and how it fits into the context of life and its mastery.  Consequently, it is a tool to help you heal.  In this case, it can help you, or someone you love, heal the loneliness. When we talk about Life Mastery we talk about a life of freedom. Mastery is a path of enlightenment. Enlightenment is about living in a state of love, acceptance, and freedom. Once you are aware of loneliness being the purest of fear, you can begin to understand that because this is such a deep wound,  it is of a high level of mastery.  When you are ready to heal your deepest wounds, you are ready to step into the magic of this life.  Life gives you these challenges to open gateways into freedom and love. It does not offer this level of challenge to destroy you, even though it may feel that way!

In conclusion, loneliness is a deep feeling of not being lovable. It is an absence, a nothingness, a void. It is a state of complete separation from that which you are: love. Loneliness is the deepest fear that represents the greatest illusion: that of being separate. If you didn’t truly believe you were separate, then you could not truly feel lonely. This life offers you the opportunity to master the feeling of loneliness as a gateway to mastering the fear and illusion of being separate.  That will bring you the greatest of love, acceptance, and freedom!!! 

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Kristen Bomas, PA
398 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 104
Boca Raton, Fl 33432


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