How do we begin to understand the number of massacres this country has endured? I am constantly finding myself in the middle of this question. Here are my thoughts. This is not a political statement or a gun statement. It is a statement of what I see as a line of explanation for the frequency of massacres at this time.
I’m 57. Growing up we did not see mass murders. We would hear of some serial murders but not mass shootings/killings. The weapons that were available back then were not much different than today. In fact, some of the weaponry was the same. Yet, the way people murdered was different. Back then it was one person at a time. Back then we talked a lot about copycat murders. We don’t hear that on the news anymore. I want to talk about the copycat concept together with modern day massacres.
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Last week I spoke about the loss of a child but what if that child who crossed over had siblings? Parents grieve in one way and siblings grieve in another. At a time of deep grief, how do the siblings feel parenting from parents who are lost in their own grief?
Going through the loss of a child can be very difficult for parents and siblings. Yet it can be very difficult for them to “share” in the loss. The parents may be feeling one set of emotions while the siblings may be feeling differently. Parents may feel the helplessness of not being able to protect the lost child. They may feel an emptiness that is unique to mother or father. They may feel a devastation that erupts from letting the child free into life only to now endure their crossing over. They may feel the loss of the dreams they had tied to that child. The list goes on.
The siblings, on the other hand, may have feelings of having lost a best friend, or a part of their self. They may feel guilt for surviving or for not getting along with their sibling. They may feel a loss of their own dream because their family is shattered.
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I’m proud to announce I was interviewed for an article in the Palm Beach Post, Suicide rates continue to rise, by Steve Dorfman. The article discusses how much attention suicide has received in the media, and why it is on the rise:
“… for the ‘smartphone generation’ of teens — in which online bullying, shaming and sexually exploitative harassing is ubiquitous — it’s more challenging than ever.”
For those vulnerable or genetically predisposed to depression, Bomas noted “the path to suicide is slippery — and social media bullying fuels that pain and isolation.”
To read the full article, CLICK HERE
How do you make sense of the loss of your child? How do you find closure? Is it okay to stop grieving?
It seems so many children are passing over. In my small world I know of 5 who have crossed to the other side in the past few months! You never know why they left as early as they did. They may have died at 5, 15, or 25 but they are your children and they are no longer here.
Most of you would agree that the one who passes crosses over to a place — and experience — of peace and freedom. They are okay. It is you, the parents, siblings, relatives, and friends, who suffer. Consequently, the suffering that you may feel comes from your own feelings of loss, abandonment, and whatever is happening inside you. It does not come from the child and where they are. Therefore, the closure must come from within you!
Many things make this time difficult for those left behind. So often you hear people say, “They (parents) will NEVER get over this!” That undercurrent sets a stage for a lack of healing and a continuation of suffering. Parents need to heal! They are here to have a life. Furthermore, their healing can further free the child on the other side. So, how might that happen?
The first thing a person who has suffered a traumatic loss needs to do is ask her- or himself what they believe about death. Do you believe the soul continues? Then what do you believe its purpose is? What do you believe happens? At the time of a death, you may doubt your beliefs. So, it is important to re-establish what they are and what they were.
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