BLOGS

Join me as I discuss the recent transformation of Caitlyn Jenner and how a father is so much more than a gender role. You can also read my contribution in the Palm Beach Post by CLICKING HERE.

We all have fathers. Some of us know our fathers and some of us do not and/or cannot. The role of a father in our life is defined by each of us. Consequently, it has a lot of variety in those definitions, especially if you have 2 mothers. Take a minute and ask your Self what an ideal father is to you. Let it be your definition. Given that definition, what is Father’s Day to you?

Many people have lost their father. They may have lost their father to divorce, drugs or alcohol addiction, military service training or deployment, death, or transgender transformation. It is all loss. For those of you who have lost your father, if this is your first Father’s day since the loss, what are you doing to honor your emotions at this time? Too often, people do not know how to say goodbye. So times like this can be difficult. How have you said your goodbyes? Even if your father is active duty military and has been deployed to another country, you may experience a loss on this Father’s Day. Often, goodbyes are necessary so that you can say hello to the new beginning!

Are you a father? If so, what part of your ideal father image is you? Are you wishing for differences in the way you are a father? On this day of honoring your role in the lives of your children, do you honor your Self? Take the time, to recognize your Self in your fatherhood. Where are you in the lives of your children? No matter where you are, physically, you are always with your children IF you can be present to them emotionally/spiritually. Find your own definition of father and offer your Self the opportunity to enjoy this honor of being Father in this life. It is your gift to your Self on this day.

The country is looking at Caitlyn Jenner’s children and their loss or reactions on this Father’s Day without Bruce. It is a new beginning for them with Caitlyn. It is a new beginning for Caitlyn as well! It is a time for each of them to reflect on what life was about as father and children and how they are feeling today. It is a time to understand that the person who was their father is still in their lives today. Gender is not about the body. It is about the internal intimate essence. That essence has always been there. It is about them learning to accept the presence of the spirit and not get caught with the attachment to the physical encasement of that presence. Easier said than done…

To all of you, fathers and children and both, may this Father’s Day be that day you honor the presence of the father in your life, in physical or energetic, and the impact of that presence. Celebrate, embrace and love that person who has given you the love of a father or just life. What a great gift you have in this life, whether you know him or not.

I was honored to contribute again to the Palm Beach Post regarding Caitlyn Jenner. You can read the full article by CLICKING HERE.

I had the honor of being interviewed by The Palm Beach Post this week for an article regarding Bruce Jenner and transgender issues.

Many people in this country are on standby waiting for Bruce Jenner to announce to Diane Sawyer “something”! We truly don’t know what! The assumptions running rampant are all saying he’s going to announce his transformation from a male body to a female body. The transformation would identify him as a transgender person or as a person having Gender Dysphoria. My greatest concern (after the fact that our media is anchored in assumption rather than fact) is the amount of judgment that will come from those who do not understand what transgender means and is.

We all dream of being unconditionally accepted. In order to be accepted we must be understood. So let me try to help everyone understand a bit about the person who is transgender and then maybe we can have more acceptance through our understanding and compassion.

Right now take a minute to feel that place inside you where you know you are a man or a woman. Feel this knowing inside you that has nothing to do with your reflection in the mirror. It is indescribable. It is simply a place deep inside where you just know you are a man or a woman, a girl or a boy.

Now, when you look at your physical body in a mirror there is a match. If you know you are a woman and you look in a mirror and you see a woman’s body, you feel a comfortable match. I’m not talking about your judgment about the way the body looks! I’m saying your knowingness of being female or male matches, and is confirmed by, the body!

Okay let’s take the next step! Now imagine you leave the mirror and go to your closet and pull out your clothes. If you are a man in a man’s body, you pull out men’s clothing and you have further comfort in the clothing as it rests on your body and further defines you as a man. Now, you go back to the mirror and feel ready to present your Self to others.

You now leave the house to go to your destination. As you enter, you say hello to the first person who you recognize and you hear your voice. And your voice is that of a man or a woman and it matches your clothing, which matches your body, which matches the knowing inside you that says you are a man or a woman, respectively.

I hope you’re starting to feel the depth of your gender and how it matches your body and your lifestyle. What happens for the transgender isn’t anything like what you just walked yourself through. The man feels like a woman on the inside knowing that she’s a woman on the inside but has the body of a man. The reflection in the mirror each and every time is a reflection of a man and that contradicts the knowingness of being a woman. The clothes on this body feel foreign and announce the foreign nature of the body within which this knowing of being a woman resides. Her voice, when she speaks, is that of a man and again confirms that she is not who she feels she is. She reaches for a glass and her hand is not the hand that matches the way she feels inside. There is no comfort or consistency in her experience of life.

How does the person who is transgender learn to accept their own self? How do they learn to be accepted by others when others will never know the truth of who they are on the inside. We don’t feel accepted because of how we look, or what we do, or by what others see. We feel accepted by others when they know who we are in truth, with all of our challenges and all of our strengths, all of our beauty and all of our differences.

So the transgender person lives without acceptance because no one knows, understands, or can accept them because who they are is kept hidden in a foreign body. How can there be acceptance when others don’t know that the transgender person is a different gender on the inside than what the body is displaying on the outside?

A transgender person is not a transvestite or cross dresser or enjoying a fetish. The latter three are choices people make for enjoyment, variation, and/or performance. The transgender person wears, and feels connected to, the clothes when they match the sex they know they are. This is not the same as being a drag queen or feeling sexually aroused by opposite sexed clothes.

A transgender person may feel at least disconnected from, if not repulsed by, their body and genitalia because of the mismatch. They prefer activities that are traditionally of the sex they know they are. Until the time the transgender person chooses to live in a body that matches who they are, they tend to feel very trapped, unknown, unseen, not to mention lonely and more.

So, let’s all do our best to help at least one person understand the person who suffers with Gender Dysphoria! Let’s help them find true acceptance in this life! Let’s remember that this is not a choice. Feel the compassion of the suffering of a fellow human being and help them feel the support of compassion and acceptance. Do not be afraid to ask questions to genuinely learn from the transgender person who you meet or know! There is no better way to show your acceptance and to gain comfort. And remember,

To read the Palm Beach Post story, click here.